Guilt Over Breakup Aftermath
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Guilt Over Breakup Aftermath
| Sun, 01-30-2005 - 5:32am |
I feel like the biggest stick in the mud. My boyfriend broke up with me way back in October, and while yeah I am functioning, I still lapse into bouts of guilt for how I acted during the whole unraveling.
When it got to the point of him whining to my friend about how I wasn't talking to him, I sent him a nasty email telling him to leave her and me alone, calling him lots of insulting things, and telling him if he didn't want his jacket mailed to him I would throw it away. Ironically I also said I liked myself better without him and never thought we could really be friends after all he did to me. Part of me feels that since he never really respected my need for space away from him, it's not a big deal. I never would have said these hurtful things if he hadn't treated me so disrespectfully. But I hate how my behavior was at that point and wonder how I can get over that. I totally lost my cool, and that sucks.
I'm also about to leave this country for another one, and lately I have been wanting to contact him, in a way to say I am sorry for how I acted, but I know what I really want is an apology from him, mainly.
How on earth can I let this go?
When it got to the point of him whining to my friend about how I wasn't talking to him, I sent him a nasty email telling him to leave her and me alone, calling him lots of insulting things, and telling him if he didn't want his jacket mailed to him I would throw it away. Ironically I also said I liked myself better without him and never thought we could really be friends after all he did to me. Part of me feels that since he never really respected my need for space away from him, it's not a big deal. I never would have said these hurtful things if he hadn't treated me so disrespectfully. But I hate how my behavior was at that point and wonder how I can get over that. I totally lost my cool, and that sucks.
I'm also about to leave this country for another one, and lately I have been wanting to contact him, in a way to say I am sorry for how I acted, but I know what I really want is an apology from him, mainly.
How on earth can I let this go?
