Not really feeling anything...
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| Sun, 01-30-2005 - 10:24am |
Hi there, I'm new to this board but not new to the relationship boards in general.
My bf of 6 years and I have decided to break up. We've lived together for 5 of those years. It's a long story...but the bottom line is I don't feel anything. I don't feel sad. I feel like I should be feeling some sort of loss but really I just feel a bit of anxiety at moving since there is a LOT of stuff to move, a bit of excitement at having my own space, and a bit of relief not having to live with the stress anymore. I'm quite busy right now with getting ready to move this week, packing, preparing for my sisters' visit, sorting stuff out with stbx...
Will it come later? Will I miss him? Should I be bracing myself for some huge depression after the dust settles? Or should I just keep my eyes pointed towards the future and my fresh beginning?
I suppose I shouldn't stress and just see what comes my way, but I've never really been through this sort of thing and I like to know what to expect.
Any words of wisdom?
TIA,
Terri

"Will it come later?" Possibly.
"Will I miss him?" You'll miss the BF part, having someone there, but you might not actually miss HIM.
"Should I be bracing myself for some huge depression after the dust settles?" Not necessarily. It doesn't sound like the break up was some big shock or dissapointment. If it had been building up for quite some time, and you knew it was inevitable, you might have been preparing yourself for it a while now with out even realizing that's what you were doing.
"Or should I just keep my eyes pointed towards the future and my fresh beginning?" Yes! Always keep looking towards the future. The past is done, it can't be changed and so worrying about the coulda/shoulda/woulda's is sort of pointless. The future however hasn't been written. Your could/should/woulds's are not regrets or wish-you-had-done's, they are all equally possible of becoming truths.
Hi there. Thanks for your words. I know I should look towards the future and not worry about what I *might* feel. I so know better than that! But this is something I haven't really experienced. I am divorced, but that was such a different situation than this. I feel so weird this week. This is "the" week, I'm officially a "renter" today and I move in completely on Saturday.
I guess I'm having confusion because he's being so nice this week. My friends have been great though - when I ask them to remind me again why I'm doing this, they don't hesitate to fill me in! lol! One friend pointed out that I'm not doing this due to one day of behavior, I'm doing it because of 6 years behavior. Another reminded me that yes, he's being nice this week, but that he's helping me *MOVE*, not asking me to *STAY*.
It's just such a huuuuge change! I also recently had a job change - boss was promoted so I have different job duties, and we even physically moved our desk/office space. I just feel like there's so much change happening all at once that my head is spinning!
Really, I'm just rambling on here, but I'm glad I've found a place where I can safely do so, with women who have gone/are going through the same thing.
Thanks!
Terri