Need some support
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| Mon, 02-07-2005 - 9:05pm |
Hi ladies, it's been about a week and a half since my breakup. My ex said his 'feelings changed'...for a long hashing out of the situation, you can go read my thread on the Asking Mr. Answer Man board.
I've not had any contact with him. However, I'm a wreck. Life feels empty and sad; I have a very hard time accepting that his feelings changed for no reason, when everything coincided with my move to his city...which makes me think this is a timing problem and that maybe in a couple of years things could be different (I know--an unhealthy and wrong attitude). I have a hard time focusing on anything. I'm 31. He came on the heels of a truly terrible relationship and everyone who loves me hoped and thought that he would be my happy ending. I think his friends felt the same way.
I am leaving the country tomorrow for two weeks on business. I'm hoping the change of scenery will help. But I'm in desperate need of encouragement and hope. I'm not yet ready to accept that it's over...we really had something special--noticeable by everyone around us and I believed it meant something to him too. Why he so quickly ran away from it is still beyond me...still hard to believe. :(

I am so sorry. I know how much it hurts. My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me completely out of the blue a week ago Saturday. I am sure that the change of scenery will really help. Will you have others around you that you can spend time with? Please try not to hide in your hotel room, because it will only make it worse. I understand your hoping that things will change and he will come back, maybe he will. I am hoping that my ex-boyfriend comes back, eventually. However, also try to realize that if you do get back together, you need to have healed from this break-up for the two of you to be happy again. Otherwise, you will be so timid and scared that this will happen again, that you could ruin the chance the two of you have. Also, if you keep wondering, and concentrate on that rather than healing, you will only make it worse for yourself. (Easier said than done, I know.)
I am struggling to live beyond simply exsisting from day-to-day...just know that it is OK to cry, it is OK to grieve, and it is OK to wonder why. Fully deal with your emotions now so that they don't resurface later. Like my mom keeps telling me, "If you break your leg, you have to wait for it to heal. Your heart has been broken, now you need to wait for IT to heal as well."
Whenever I get sad, I keep saying to myself: "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I know, so cliche, but so true. He made you a better person, if only for a little while. I wish you all the luck in the world. I am so sorry your heart has been broken.
Thank you both for your support. I'm on the road now and it is really good to be out of town and to be busy. It helps remind me that life is more than this relationship--even though it meant (means?) a lot to me.
I think it will be awhile before I am able to kill my hope. But I guess it is less than two weeks since the breakup and I need to be patient with myself. One day at a time, I suppose.