Kids are great for healing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Kids are great for healing...
3
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:15am

A couple weeks ago, my 5 year old nephew asked me: "Aunt 'course11', why are you sad? Because you look sad."

I said, "Well, because I lost a friend today." (How else do you explain a breakup to a kid?)

He looked confused and asked "What do you mean?"

"You remember my friend XXX...well, he has decided he doesn't want to be my friend anymore." (I said, on the verge of tears...)

My nephew looked sad for a moment. Then he looked at me and said, "It's okay, Aunt Course11, you can just choose someone else!"

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 12:12pm

Awww, what a cutie pie!

Sometimes kids have the best answers. They're simple and to the point. Maybe we, as adults, complicate things with all the "what ifs" the reading into things that aren't there, wondering "if I had only done things differently"..

and a five year old points out that, hey, this is an opportunity...you can just choose someone else.

What a refreshing moment! Thanks for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 12:59pm

Kids are so funny - pure and innocent in their observation. I have a daughter with my ex and she is really confused by everything (she'll be 4 in May). She loves my exes new g/f and I am finally ok with that - I guess if she's going to be around, at least my daughter should like her. But, when this all came down, I was putting my daughter to bed one night and she said "Mommy, when daddy is done with K being his girlfriend, can you and him get married then and he can live with us?". Utterly broke my heart. While we were together, she didn't want us together. Now, it's "When you and Daddy get married, I want to be in the wedding." I just kind of blow it off and change the subject, I guess I don't really know how to answer that. I would love for her to talk to her father about this, but she doesn't.

Wow, this really sounds kind of depressing, but that's not how I meant it:) I just meant to show that no matter what we think, kids are on to whatever the situation happens to be!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 3:12pm

Hey course11

I totally agree. I'm a nanny, among other things, and I live with the family (i have for about 2 years). They've met my ex (when he wasn't my ex, of course) and he even brought the 9 year old gifts and such. I didn't tell the little girl about what happened between X and I until she asked what we were doing for Valentine's day. When I told her that he wasn't in the picture anymore and that made me sad she said:

"Well don't worry about him, he's just a jerk who OBVIOUSLY doesn't know that you're the coolest person ever. And anyway, he's just a boy and there are lots of those around."

She's good to have around because she always puts my "crazy adult stuff" (as I say to "explain" why I'm sad or whatever)) into perspective.