We are on a break....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
We are on a break....
1
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 5:56pm
Well last nite my boyfriend of 5 years and I decided to take a break...what ever that means....It hasn't been an easy 5 years to say the least but nevertheless I love him. Basically it all came about b/c we were planning on moving in together and he told me he didn't want to. No reason why and lots of excuses why not. He says I'm too good for him, he can't give me what I need and I deserve better ( huge cop-outs if u ask me!) Well anyway I just need some words of wisdom on how to not think of him ever single minute. At nite is hardest. I know its only been 24 hours but I already feel like calling him...which I won't. I know this is good and I'm not sure if it solve anything between us but I feel like it might give me a look at our relationship ,in a new light. Its just hard when u talk to someone everyday for so long and now...nothing. Its kind of like they have died in a way. But I'm really sad and just wondered if there were any words of wisdom..... ;) Thanks....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 9:54pm

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know cause I was just there a few weeks ago. I still have those nights to this day, but they are getting fewer and further between.

My advice is going to sound cliche, but it's what everyone told me and everyone was right. Make some changes...change your room around, anything to change something that is so familiar. And keep yourself busy. Call all your girlfriends...search the web...read a book...watch a movie. Just keep yourself busy. Eventually you'll get to the end of a day and realize that you haven't thought about him every minute like you usually do. It almost knocked me over first time I made that realization.

Everyone will tell you the same thing, and as much as you'll hate to hear it, keeping yourself busy is your best bet at this point.

I bought a lot of self-help books about breakups and reading those helped too...they make you feel really strong and understand your problems much better.

Start doing things for yourself...go get a massage, see a movie, get a pedicure, go tanning, go to the gym. Just keep yourself busy. And post here as often as you like.

Take care and you'll get through it, I promise! :)

~Jen