Is he giving pity on me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Is he giving pity on me?
2
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:00am

My ex ended our almost 1.5 years relationship three weeks ago. Last 3 weeks, I saw him twice. I saw him and his MOM when they came to my place to take all his things out. I left home, but they caught me in a lobby at my apartment. Second time, yes, I did went to the symphony with him as we were planning before the breakup. I was really going to email him to forget about the symphony, but I wasn't strong enough to email him right away. He emailed me a day before (early morning) the symphony date and asked me what time he needed to pick me up. Although many people told me better not to go, I went. Actually, that night wasn't too bad (I practiced smiling for a while day before I saw him, I guess it worked :))

While we were in a car or eating dinner before the symphony, I was trying to bring any topics not related to our relationship. But he was the one asked all my updates since we broke up. He offered me a ride to the airport later this month, he told me he might join me hiking this weekend, he told me that his mom wanted to take me out for dinner and he didn't mind me seeing his mom. He asked how my galfriends and my parents reacted our breakup etc.

Last two days, he emailed me to give me the information which I asked for. I didn't initiate any email message.

All his emails didn't have any of his feeling, but just business. But still I don't understand why he does this. Does he feel any obligation? Why? I thought the Saturday symphony was really the last time to have any contact with him. I feel like I'm back in 3 weeks ago. It seems like every pain and silly expectation are coming back again.

He broke up with me because he was not ready to make a commitment. (I don't really believe this). Is he doing all these because he feels sorry for me? I kept telling myself not to expect anything, but I'm confused. Why is he doing this to me? Has anyone experienced similar situation?

Aloha

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 1:29pm
I am currently going through this.

~Live to be happy~Be happy to live~

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 6:42pm

He's doing it because he's moved on and is fine with being friends. He is farther along the road because he was the one who broke up with you.

For YOUR sake, however, you need to not have contact with him until you are completely over him and ready to be just friends. The test: picture him calling you and telling you all about a great new woman he just met. If you would be happy for him and nothing else, then you're ready to be friends. If not, you're not ready yet.

Sheri