First Day of Break Up

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
First Day of Break Up
2
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 7:07pm
I'm so glad I found this board. My boyfried of 2 years broke up with me this morning. I was friends with him for 3 years before we starting dating. I was unbelievably in love with him by the time we actually started dating. He told me he loved me, and had been in love with me for 6 months, on our first date. I was completely swept off my feet and will never forgot how wonderful our relationship was in the beginning. But over the past two years we discovered how fundamentally different we are and that it would never work out. We differ on the proper way to raise children, on managing money, and on the definition of cheating. These differences were more pronounced than we realized when we were 'just friends'. I've wanted to break up with him for the last year but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I became so depressed that I am actually taking a mild anti-depressent now. Breaking up with me is the very best thing he could have done for me. But I am heart broken. I want him even though intellectually I realize he is not the man I thought he was. But I am so in love with the man I thought he was that I think I will just stay in this bed, tucked under the covers, and never come out. I can't think of living my life now without him. All of my plans for the future included him and now I have this great big whole in my life.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 7:16pm

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I understand exactly what you're saying about being in love with the man you thought he was...I've had that problem several times before.

I'm not going to lie to you...it's going to take a while for you to feel better and come to accept the reality of who he IS vs. who you wanted him to be. But you will get through it and then you will be open to the possibility of finding a man who ACTUALLY is the things you want.

Stay in bed for a few days if you need to. Baby yourself, and take it easy. You'll take the next steps when you're ready.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:03pm

I've just gone through a breakup and my "head" is fighting my "heart" as well. It's very difficult to know that something isn't right but still miss what you had.

I know how devastating it is. It is pain like no other. I pray that you will be able find something comforting to hang onto at this time. There are many here that understand. Take Care.