i am still in love with my ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2005
i am still in love with my ex
2
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 6:12pm
My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago. We broke up because of constant problems dealing with me drinking liquer. He asked me to not drink any longer because he felt I couldn't handle my liquer. I was not an alcholic I just drunk occasionaly maybe 3 different times during our relationship. When I do drink I drink too fast and thats why I would get drunk. Throughout the relationship on maybe two of the three times I drank I got drunk and he had to come get me to bring me home late at night and the other time I drove myself home. There were countless times that I lied to him about things that I felt he was being too strongly concerned about. He didn't want me to go out with one of my friends because he was gay so I lied and said I was going shopping by myself later that night he found out I was lying and got very upset. I use to feel on certain occasions he was trying to be my father and not a boyfriend but he doesn't see it that way. I also feel that he drunk liquer more than I did everytime he went out and got so drunk about 3 times and said things to me that made me upset but he doesn't remember that he did it. The very last time that I drunk liquer when I was still in a relationship with him I ended up driving over to his house drunk and when I got there he hugged me and asked me if I had been drinking and I lied and said no. He then told me he could smell it through my pores and that I had just lied to him and that he was finished with me and that he wanted me to leave, so I drove home. About 3 months after we broke up I called him it was this past August at this time I was in a different state about to come home from my internship and we talked for a very long time and he let me know that he never stopped thinking about me and that he wanted to be with me if I have changed and I let him know that I felt the same way. When I got back in town I saw him the same day. I let him know that I wanted to take things slow and not get back together so fast so that I could see if things were meant to be. So for the following few months we spent some time together but were seeing other people. In about October for the fist time since I had been back I decided to go out with my cousin and some friends of hers one of the friends was my ex's best friends girlfriend. That night before I even met up with them I drank liquer and my best guy friend drove so we could meet up with my cousin and her friends. When we met up I got out of the car to say hi to the girl that is the girlfriend to my ex's best friend. She then asked me if I had been drinking and I said yes and told her not to tell my ex and she said he's a hypacrite telling you not to drink when he was drunk last week. I stumbled back into the car and we drove to the club we were going to. I then got on my cell phone and called my ex to see what he was doing and he automatically asked me if I had been drinking and I told him no why does he ask and he said you know the girls in the car in front of you they told me. I told him they were lying and he told me he'll talk to me when I'm sober. For the next two days I continued to lie to him and tell him that it wasn't true. Then I finally told him the truth and he said that he knew that I was lying and he would of accepted the fact that I was drinking if I would have told him upfront. He then told me that he can not trust me to be in a relationship with me and that he didn't want to talk to me again. How can I make him see that he does the same things that he tells me not to do? How can I get him to see that the only times I lie is when he tends to act like a parent? How can I prove to him and show him that I am in love with him and won't continue to lie to him and that I am no longer drinking? Or for starters how can I get things right with him to the point that we could have a decent conversation on the phone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 2:12pm

I am a little confused about your post...


Mostly, I guess I'm wondering how old you are?

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 9:14am

There is no relationship that can work if you lie constantly. You should start asking yourself why do you lie?, why can't you face the consequences of your actions?. If you have a drinking problem, then you MUST recognise it and start working on it. Stop lying, it will not make the problem disappear.

Your relationship with your ex is totally over, not only because there is no respect for each other, but because it is impossible to build a relationship with someone who lies and cannot see it as a problem.

Build your confidence, you can have fun without drinking in excess.

iliana