I miss me!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
I miss me!!!
8
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 2:25pm
How do I get past not only having lost the person whom I love but it seems like everything that I love in my life now has no meaning? Things that I did before I met him and then shared that part of me with him, has no meaning or satisfaction anymore. These hobbies and activities were part of my life and who I was but now everything reminds me of him.
One week after he broke it off with me, 3 weeks after I had surgery to try to have kids with him, I saw him at my hangout with his hands all over another girl. How can he move on so easily while I am so dead without him? I have not seen or contacted him knowing that he doesn't want me anymore. The last time I talked to him about a week and a half ago he told me that he is just now able to think any good thoughts about me or our relationship. I miss the person that I was and it is hard for me to move on. Is there a magic potion I can drink to forget everything?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lifesregrets
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 5:46pm

lifesregrets...

There's no MAGIC POTION to help you forget......but Pianoguy would like to offer a "reality check" instead.

If your (former) b/f could easily dump you.....he'll play the same "game" with other women. And they'll be just as crushed as you are right now!

Pond scum can't cleanse itself.....it only fosters and gets worse!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 7:19pm
You are right! He really did me wrong. It helps me to be angry but it is hard for me to stay that way. All I want is to move on and be happy again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 9:18am

What a painful message you posted! I understand. It has only been 8 days since my break up and two of my friends let me know that my ex was seen at a happy hour. I stopped them from talking before they told me he was 'with' someone else so I don't know if he was or not. I was very afraid those were going to be the next words and I couldn't bear hear those words right now. I feel like I was worthless to him. I am doubly humiliated because I was the one posting on this board the day after our breakup asking for advice on what my obligations were to him. I felt that I should help him out financially or help him find an apartment he could afford. He didn't need my help. He just moved on. Now I am left wondering what is wrong with me for 1) missing him, 2) still loving him, 3) worrying about him.

The only thing I can say is my feelings are part of the normal process for a human being. He, although he looks like a human being, is really only a shell. (I think I may have entered the angry phase of the grieving process)

My advice: take up a new hobby, travel to a new place, do something totally different and separate from your life with him. Force yourself to go through the motions until you are no longer forcing yourself. (Fake it until you make it).

We'll both be fine in the end. I promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 11:16am
Thank you for caring and posting. My heart is sooo broken over someone who was just playing a game with me. I am such a strong person and no one would believe that I feel this way. It is not like me at all. It seemed so real at the time and then to find out I was just another passing nobody in his life. It is hard for me to still function. Everyday he is still on my mind constantly, although the empty, sick, pit in my stomach is sometimes going away. I wish I could get in the angry stage because I know I would be able to conquer these emotions but all I do is grieve. This stinks and is so depressing. I am so sick of feeling this way! I've started to research doctors to maybe help me but I'm not sure if I should go to a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or just a Family Counselor. What is really bad is I have no time until after Thanksgiving to even see anyone. I'm not sure whaat to do. This hurts so bad!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:25pm

My heart goes out to you.. I'm in the same position as you.. I'm a strong person and I can't believe how much I've let this breakup completely destroy who am/was. It's also incredibly hard to understand how we can go from being so happy in love to meaning absolutely nothing to someone.. It's not fair and it it just sucks. Just know that you're not alone, there are a lot of people in your same position.. Time heals all wounds, remember that.. it will get easier and more & more that empty, painful feeling will start to go away..It's been a little over 8 weeks and I have my good days and bad days just as you will.

If you really think you should go talk to someone, I say go for it.. A friend of mine did and it really helped her a lot. In the meantime, keep posting on here updating us w/ how you're doing. And if you ever need to talk to someone, we can exchange e-mail addresses or anything if you'd like. Hang in there <3

oh & p.s. I'm reading this book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" and its helped me a lot too - so if you're lookin for something to read!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:40pm

I thought I had replied to your post yesterday, but clearly I messed something up in the process (I was at work though, so it happens) :)

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 3:03pm
Thank you to all who cares. I have bought and studied the breakup book and it did help at one time. I still review it about every other day to try to get something new from it. The postings that people have written on here for other people has helped a lot also. I print them out and highlight the important lines that I read over and over again. It brings short term relief and peace which is very much needed. I have never been so taken advantage of in my life. I am a very independant and strong person that I can't believe that my f b/f was minipulative enough to tear down all the bricks I had protecting me and then, after completing the challenge, leave the game feeling like a winner. I read a lot of postings saying when the f b/f calls stick to the n/c rule. Well... it would be at least nice to know he cared enough to call. I was nothing to him except a waste of time. I know that my head says he isn't worth it but how do I get my heart to follow? I guess the only thing that will help me recover is time. Thanks to you all for listening and responding. It is a blessing to have you all to turn to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
In reply to: lifesregrets
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 6:10pm

I am so sorry you've had your heart broken! The first thing I want you to do is ... change your online name from lifesregrets to some thing else! Try try try to *not* regret! You can't change the past and it only takes engery away from the healing process you need to start right now. If you're going to think about anything from your past ... instead of regretting, take what you learned from the experiences and use that knowledge in the new chapter of your life that is starting.


When my relationship ended a year and a half ago, everything in my life was defined at pre-breakup and post- breakup. It sounds silly, but it was. Don't worry about not falling back into your old routine and hobbies right away. You've been through a

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"You get what you settle for"...