He's Such a Catch!! HUH???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
He's Such a Catch!! HUH???
6
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 4:38pm

One of the best things you can ever do for yourself after being dumped is NO CONTACT. My ex and I started talking again about 6 months post break up. I figured it was enough time to cushion the blow.

I'm dating someone new and have moved to another city, so I'm pretty much engrossed in my own new life. The problems started when he began telling me about allllll the girls he is dating... How girls just love him, how he is meeting so many at bars and they call him all the time, etc.

Also, he keeps telling me how great everyone thinks he is. How the women at work are constantly trying to set him up --> "Why don't you have a girlfriend? You are such a great catch!!" And all of his female friends are now saying "I want to fix my friend up with you - you are such a good guy!!"

Such a good guy?? Who ARE they talking about?? This guy wouldn't introduce me to his family for 3 years because they are of an exclusive culture. He got 'arranged' to a girl of his culture behind my back (he has since broke it off), he was constantly on match making sites behind my back, talking to girls on the phone and he even met up with one while i was on a business trip. Not to mention that he refused to take me to the hospital when I had to get a procedure done because he had a pre-planned happy hour.

He is so uplifted by all this adulation, that he has even begun telling me that the pain I felt from my relationship with him was 'made up' or 'exaggerated' on my part and that he was never 'that bad' of a boyfriend!!!

Ok - thanks for letting me vent. I know this is extremely immature on my part... But seriously - has anyone else ever experienced this?? Why do people think he's so great? It GRATES on my nerves!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 7:15pm

They think he's so great because they don't know the real him...you do.

Are you going to go back to no contact? Seems like it's time...

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 8:35pm
I don't even know u but am glad u r not with that idiot..he presents himself as so vain but really he is an insecure wimp...be gone..move on to someone more deserving of you..
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 9:19pm

Sheri

Yes - no contact is absolutely essential. When I measure my anxiety level 2 months ago to what it is now, the only negative factor causing the increase in anxiety is HIM.

That's my fault for letting him back in.

But I can cut it off right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 10:24am
i know this is not a funny situation or laughing matter, but i had to chuckle at your post the way you went on about what he's telling you, and the way you asked what so great about him..it was funny because it was almost an attempt(on his part) to probably try to make you jeoulous, it's probably not true..if people need to brag that much, something is up. and as long as you know the truth about him, that's all that matters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 4:19pm

Hi, I was reading your post and could believe it - you just described the guy I was dating for 10 months. Exactly the same story - I wasn't happy in the relationship - he just didn't know any better how to be a partner with the person, because he was "HE" and everything had to go his way and on his terms pretty much. I saw his true nature and insecurities - he loved talking about how great he is, how wonderful he looks for his age and all this crap - basically, deep inside, a person with a very low self confidence, even that he shows as if he has a lot of confidence.

People around him loved him and I coldn't figure out - what they found in him. After we broke off, I asked a couple of people - what is so wonderful about him? I learned that with people who are not that close - he can always put his best, but not hir real behaviour - be nice, funny, respectful... and so on... but when you get deep inside - you see a very insecure, immature person... Well, I am really judging him... it's the best he can be and I knew that it wasn't for me...

But I was as perplexed as you are about how people can love him - trust me when and if they will have an opportunity to get a bit past that - it will be a different story :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 8:30pm
Same with my ex-BF. I have heard all about how his ex's want him back all the time. How women call him, etc,etc. We had no contact after our breakup for a month. He emailed me out of the blue a couple of times. We started talking again, trying to be friends. He suggested a face to face meeting where we could talk things out. I don't know what end result he was looking for. The talk didn't happen and when I inquired about it I got an email about how he thought everything was fine and he didn;t think we needed to talk at all about the relationship and could I find it in my heart to forgive him, etc, etc. How full of himself - he was the one that had something to say in the first place! Idiot. Just further proof that it is always about him, what he wants, etc. How great he thinks he is, etc. Truly he is an insecure person - no contact is the way to go ladies. . . .