help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2005
help!!
3
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 1:52pm
i was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 yrs and he broke up with me about 6 months ago. even when he broke up with me, the first 3 months were like they use to be he still called me, tries to see me...but never once mentions getting back together? i want to be with him so bad but i never tell him that i try to act like it doesnt bother me. in the last month he rarely ever calls me i havent seen him in about 3 weeks. ITS KILLING ME. i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant focus at work...i hate it. i dont know what to do. help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: dnuin86
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 2:57pm
Sorry for your pain and grief over the situation. Sounds like he's weaned himself from you all the while you were hoping to get back together.....which means now you have to really deal with the pain and start your healing. I hope you can move forward. It will take time to accept something you don't want.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2005
In reply to: dnuin86
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 4:13pm
about 2 months ago i told him to just leave me alone for a while so i can get over this because its driving me crazy, i still want to be his friend just not now. but he just started crying and begging to come and see me. i dont know what he's trying to do i am so confused. hes making this so hard for me. what do i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: dnuin86
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 4:25pm
i'm so sorry for your pain right now...we've all felt it and it really is horrible, i know. i know the feeling of wanting to be with someone so bad, but i think you need to take a step back, try to take a deep breath and focus. i think maybe one of the problems here is that there was lack of communication on both your parts. in your mind i guess, because you were spending time together it felt like you were still together(quite normal and understandable), and now since he hasn't called and you haven't seen him, it's like reality just hit you over the head..the reality that you are not together. reality is hard to take in and accept but it also helps us to take the first steps to healing. i don't know how your relationship was, and why he broke up with you, but if he wasn't a "bad" guy, maybe you can communicate now how you feel to try to reconcile..although, the fact that his calls suddenly stopped in the last month may be a sign that he's moved on. i also think it's important to question why the NEED to be with him so badly. it might not really be that you want to be with him at all, there could be deeper issues there (i know it's probably too soon for you to want to hear that). as for the pain, and the not being able to concentrate at work etc..i know how that feels too, and i don't know how you could make that go away..i don't think you can, but for me, praying and really looking at myself and dealing with my issues helped ease my pain.