Left him and cant get over him
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Left him and cant get over him
| Thu, 12-01-2005 - 4:50pm |
Hi, well I was with this guy for almost 7 years. I am 26 now. The truth is he never really treated me right. He is an alcoholic and would become very angry and verbally absive when he would drink. Which was at least every weekend. I finaly got fed up with it and left. I just hated comming home. I didnt even want to be around him . Everything was always my fault. All we did was fight not to mention we hardly had sex.
One day I finally had enough and called my brother and he came to help me move all my stuff out. We didnt talk for 2 days then he called me begging me back. Telling me how he couldnt live without me and he wanted to go to counseling and how now he realizes how he needs to stop drinking and how sorry is was. I wanted to belive him but I just felt he wouldnt change, and plus it felt so good to be free, I felt so liberated. I could do what ever I want and whenever I want. It felt great. Sure I didnt want to hurt him and it really hurt me to reject him that way. But then about 2 weeks later the tables really turned he got a new girlfrined (whom I saw with her kid on my bed when I went to sign the lease over to him). And it was just like he was over me he told me "this is what you wanted" at that point I guess I wanted him back I missed him dearly. I said "but I thought you wanted to work it out" and he just brushed me off telling me to to get lost basically.
Anyways its now 2 1/2 months later and I am doing worst than ever, I cant stop thinink about him I even dream about getting back with him ( I know he wouldnt cause he has a new gf now) . But I do think about it I want to email him soo bad but I know I shouldnt. The last time I emailed him about my mail hes response really hurt me he has basiclly moved on.
I just feel like such a pathetic idiot. I'm the one that left him and be begged me back and I blow him off!! Why am I now in so much pain. I know I didnt deserve the way he treated me. But the missing him seems like its only getting worse and not better with time. Am I crazy? please help
One day I finally had enough and called my brother and he came to help me move all my stuff out. We didnt talk for 2 days then he called me begging me back. Telling me how he couldnt live without me and he wanted to go to counseling and how now he realizes how he needs to stop drinking and how sorry is was. I wanted to belive him but I just felt he wouldnt change, and plus it felt so good to be free, I felt so liberated. I could do what ever I want and whenever I want. It felt great. Sure I didnt want to hurt him and it really hurt me to reject him that way. But then about 2 weeks later the tables really turned he got a new girlfrined (whom I saw with her kid on my bed when I went to sign the lease over to him). And it was just like he was over me he told me "this is what you wanted" at that point I guess I wanted him back I missed him dearly. I said "but I thought you wanted to work it out" and he just brushed me off telling me to to get lost basically.
Anyways its now 2 1/2 months later and I am doing worst than ever, I cant stop thinink about him I even dream about getting back with him ( I know he wouldnt cause he has a new gf now) . But I do think about it I want to email him soo bad but I know I shouldnt. The last time I emailed him about my mail hes response really hurt me he has basiclly moved on.
I just feel like such a pathetic idiot. I'm the one that left him and be begged me back and I blow him off!! Why am I now in so much pain. I know I didnt deserve the way he treated me. But the missing him seems like its only getting worse and not better with time. Am I crazy? please help

Have you ever heard the expression, "it's always darkest before the dawn"? That applies to getting over breakups as well. The reality of your relationship being over is sinking in, plus the bad memories are starting to fade, leaving only the good ones. I just posted to another poster about making a set of index cards to remind yourself of the bad things and I would suggest you do the same. See also the post on "Thought Stopping".
Sheri