I nd some advice RE: my EX - I lve him

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
I nd some advice RE: my EX - I lve him
2
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:01pm
I recently ended a 4 year relationship with my live-in boy friend. We ended it on 07/31/05. Mainly because he didn't come home that night. The problem is I love him so much it hurts. We have had sex maybe once a week or every other week since the break up. Sometimes he tells me he loves me and when he holds me I really believe he does. My question is, I have told him how I feel....He knows I still love him....but should I continue to express my love for him or should I move on and act like I don't care anymore, even though the pain of the heartbreak is almost unbearable. Should I not let him know how I feel? I think about him all the time. Another thing he calls me all the time to tell me the good/bad stuff that's going on in his life. This so hard, can someone else Please give me some sound advice. I don't really have friend that I can share my problems with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:46pm
Did he offer any reason or explain why he didn't come home that night? If that issue was never resolved then continuing to sleep with him doesn't solve anything. It only adds to the confusion because you want more and he's got the best of both worlds now, especially if he hasn't asked to get back with you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 3:57pm

Hello...I have no advice for you, I am dealing with the same thing but it sometimes helps to know others are experiencing the same pain and hopelessness. My ex is an alcoholic and I have watched him spiral down in the 2 years I have known him. But, I love him like I have loved no other man. Anyway, I am doing the same thing. I begged him to let me come over tonight and want to make love to him. I want to hear from him, because sometimes I feel that little crumb of a connection gives hope and is better than nothing. But is it? It is prolonging the pain, I think. I do believe that we will get to a point where we sever the cord and only than can we move forward, not into another relationship (I have been cured of this want!) but to be happy where we are in our lives and with ourselves. I feel for you, because it is the deepest, darkest pain ever. I am in counseling, and my therapist likens our desire to crack. He is only a man, it is an addiction.

Be free with your feelings, do not hold back. Get it out of your system without games. Walk away with your dignity. Bless you and the best of luck. Love, Donna

Faith