Confused
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| Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:07pm |
Hi everyone
how would you explain following situation. I am married and since 4 years, I have been seeing another man.
My marriage does not work out and I was going to file for divorce next year. My friend is younger than I, so is my husband. I know, my messgae is a bit chaotic, but I can't put my thoughts together.
My freind and I exchange e-mails on a daily basis and we also talk on the phone 2 a week for about an hour.
I supposed to see him again around the holidays (we spend quite a lot of time in summer - beautiful time). Every e-mail he writes me, how much he misses me and can't wait to see me. We have so much to talk about. Love life is great and he is an inspiration to me. I fell in love, the day he kissed me, four years ago. I have not been very expressive if it comes to my feelings, however lately i have been more open towards him. Yesterday, I got an e-mail, that he is looking forward to see me around the holidays, so we could spend time together and work on my website etc. and today I get an akward e-mail saying that he is at the point where he is quite content to be alone, again.
And I should not e-mail him for 30 days. Is there something I don't see? Why the sudden change?
I know that he really loves me (loved me). I am so confused.
wasgahawk

It's great you found this board to come and share and gain support.
I am not clear on your whole story but here is my take. Close one door before opening another door. In other words, end the marriage please. Why are you creating a situation of pain for yourself, your husband with whom you exchanged vows and perhaps your lover? I am not sure why you are exposing yourself to this? How can the lover feel safe and content knowing you share a bed (assuming so) with your legal partner?
I have no clue why the lover said NC for 30 days but to me, that is a blessing. Work on deciding what you want with the marriage..and sort that out..then work on you...
Peace..
Wannheal,
thanks for the words. I know, I can't have too many irons in the fire.
The time was really not good for me to make any decisions. May dad whom I loved dearly passed away 3 months ago (my mom passed 2 years ago) and I am also dealing with my peri-menopausal and post-traumatic depression and anxiety and try to go the natural way. I need a kick sometimes just to look at things from a different prespective. My girl friend has even worse situation, so I can't really bother her with my issues.
Anyhow. Thanks again
Peace