I was "the other woman" without knowing
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| Sat, 12-17-2005 - 12:02am |
Just yesterday my suspecious about my....i guess ex-boyfriend were confirmed. for a while now i had, had the suspecious that he was in another relationship at the smae time that he was with me. So i send her an email letting her know who i was and that i was wondering what relation did she have to him. of course she let him know about the email and he called me furious. but even then he wouldnt admit as to who she was. he made me feel so guilty for sendidn that email that all i could do was cry and apologize to him. but then she called me. and she told me that they have been together for a year and a half. basically he will spend the week with me and the weekend with her (he always told er that he was busy during the week) but then sometimes he will alternate between the 2 of us, one day her the next one me. even the bed we were sleeping in was hers. the car he will let me borrow when he went on bussiness trip was hers.
so he called me again yesterday and made a treat agains me and my family, he didnt want me to talk to her any more. he was denying everything to her and she was beginning to doubt what i had told her. so i forwarded her some emails i had from him. and i dont know what has happened since then.
when he called me he told me that he prefered her over me, and thats fine i dont want him back......but it still hurts to know that i didnt mean anything to him. that without knowing it i was the other woman, the one he was using to bretay his long time girlfriend with....that he was just using me.....that all the love i gave him meant nothing.....i cant believe that for 7 months he had me fooled.
how can someone do this??? i just dont know what to think or feel, or do.....i have so much pain inside me, but at this point i dont even know how to get it out. i feel so used....
And she called me today, because she had more questions.......she told me that most likely she will forgive him. Wow! she honestly doesnt have any love for herself.

Hi Georgapeach,
thank you for your response. I was talking to my mom about this today and she told me that the only thing we girls need to realise is that we can make it in our own and you know she is right. He has messed me really bad and i am still in pain over this, but obviously i am way to good for him :) i know this might sound coinsided but, you know what at my 25 years of age i have acomplished more then he has. I am a better person then him, becasue i dont hurt people the way he does. and at the end i dont regret loving him, becasue my love was true and honest. even though he put me in the situation where i was the other woman, i can honestly say that i didnt know it and i am not going to beat my self up over it.
and yes he is a snake of the worse kind. and i know that if she does go back with him there will always be that doubt in her mind, becasue it wasnt that he cheated on her once, he cheated on her for 7 months.
as for you, i will say definitely talk it over with your boyfriend even if they deny things you have to let them know that they are not fooling you. you have to have the upper hand.
dear Goddes sephoria
i just wanted to say that it felt comforting (as awful as that sounds) to hear someone who has went through pretty much the same exact thing as me. Reading your post and the replies has helped me a lot with my similar situation--even though its sad situation to go through in the first place. In short, I found out that I was "the other woman" when i got a call from my now ex-boyfriends girlfriend. I had no idea that he had another girlfriend that he had been dating for 6 years! My ex boyfriend did the same exact thing as yours did by denying it. He even had me fooled for a while that she was just lying, and that she was just a jealous Ex trying to ruin his relationship with me! It ended up all being sorted out and the truth came to light of what was going on. We broke up and she was going to try to work things out with him and give him another chance. Similarly to you Goddess sephoria, i went through all the same emotions of being used and betrayed and being hurt that all of the love that i gave to him meant nothing! I never suspected this because things between him and I before all of this was so amazing,
You are soo right in knowing that you are better than him and all of this. I think we can both agree that this is just another lesson learned and it can help us come out stronger in the end. similarily to you, i don't regret our relationship because the time we had together was great. We had fun and I was always sincere, honest and gave him my best. Now i am ready to move on. Its not easy but I wish you the best of luck and hope that your coping goes well and that your pain will go away soon.