How do u not check his messages?
Find a Conversation
How do u not check his messages?
| Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:37pm |
Ok..i know you guys knew all your ex's passwords too...how do u not check the messages? i realize i really do fine until i find stuff like him writing to girls and vice versa. i dont want to contact him and ask him to change it. i also know that the post it thing where u write "don't check his messages!" doesnt work either for me. how did u guys stop looking?...its like self inflicting pain...i KNOW im gonna find stuff that makes me sad, but i still look...

I had an ex's password to a dating site in a previous relationship and it was really hard to wean myself off of looking at the emails he'd sent, etc. But eventually I recognized that it was making it impossible for me to move on and it was causing me pain. So I decided to stop. I made commitments to a couple of friends and to my counselor that I wouldn't check for one week. Once I made it that far, I recommitted to another week, etc. Eventually the urges faded and it didn't even occur to me any more. But it's tough...it's like quitting smoking. You need to make up your mind, and then just do it. I find making the commiments helps a lot...my friends keep me on the straight and narrow ;-).
Sheri
I definitely know how hard it is not to check an ex's messages... checking my ex's email is actually how I ended up catching him cheating!
I've just been in the same situation. I had my ex's password to an online dating site. Like you I checked his acivity quite often. Sometimes it was entertaining to read his messages, but other times it was just plain brutal on me emotionally.
What I ended up doing was changing his profile text. I think he noticed something didn't appear as it should so he changed his profile and password. This way I didn't have to tell him what I had done and now I don't have to force myself not to check.
You may want to do something similar. Log onto his account and change his password. When he logs on he will be forced to change it again and this way you won't know it.
Trust me, it's the best thing for you.