why is he doing this? invited me home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2005
why is he doing this? invited me home.
1
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 6:16pm
okay, you have been following my story, ex dumped me and then wrote that letter about how much he loves me and its killing him but we can never stay together, he loves me more then anything, he said we were like the sun and the moon, can't exist without each other and can never stay together. etc. anyway, i haven't spoken to him since he dropped off the letter and left for 4 weeks to go to his home country. well he has been gone for 2 weeks now and he called me today saying how much he misses me and he wants me to get on a plane and come there so we can go travel his country together. i thought about it and i will not be going, but its killing me. why is he doing this? i mean, i guess being away, with oceans between us has given him some much needed time to think and maybe with his mind clear he can think things through. what do i do? i miss him so much and love him but i dont want to get hurt again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 9:31am

Hi,

My two cents would be...don't rush into anything. Stick to your decision about not going to see him - that could end up hurting you even more. Think back to the real reasons of why you broke up - are they still valid? Even if you feel like giving in, be strong - keep those reasons in mind. Reread your own posts if you have to (I do that and it helps me maintain my resolve).

While you may decide at some point that he did make a mistake and now regrets it deeply, I would still suggest to give that time. I know from my own yo-yo emotional state that some moments I would take him back in a heartbeat (after making him grovel of course = fantasy) and others, I would be certain that I don't want him anymore as he doesn't deserve me. Remember he still says "its killing him but we can never stay together,". Isn't that odd?

Once you reach a resolve, try the NC. I remember your post about the letter - weren't you planning on NC anyways?

Ash