Stressed over his breaking NC rule
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 12-22-2005 - 9:30pm |
On Dec. 4 it was the last straw and we agreed to NC. He lives in another city where he has his numerous booty calls and his new life. I of course DO NOT CALL. Day 10 he calls and breaks the rule. We had words and he said he would not call again. Another 10 days later, he is leaving the country for two weeks. The day he was going out of the country to see his grammy he calls from the airport and breaks the rule. It was actually a short but nice call and he said he would call me when he go there..I said no need to please do not call.
He calls tonight and I did not hear it as I was at a party. I see a voice mail and he is angry why I won't take his call. He calls again and we had a fight and he got mad and said he will never call me again. He hung up. Then his dad called me (I am very close to his family then and now) to give me their phone if I need to call. I asked him to put my ex on the line and said I was tired of his anger when we were a couple and I am tired now. He said no worries, I will never call you again. Why does it end like this?? And WHY DO I FEEL GUILT? He is the one who ended it ...
My night was and is ruined..I sat in the corner crying by myself...I am NOT breaking the rule..he is and I am the one suffering.
As I said, I cannot change my cell phone number. I do not think he will call again.
Why do I feel like ^&%^ still?? When does it end?? Sigh..HOW SELFISH I THINK..

You will just have to ignore his calls, I know it will be tough but obviously it causes you a great deal of anguish to talk to him and he clearly does not respect your boundaries and therefore does not respect you or your needs. So, do not answer your phone! :-)
Another thing that has helped me in the past is re-program his name on my phone with a, well, shall I say more fitting name. I have had some pretty brutal ones, haha. Anything you didn't like about him (I usually go for physical aspects, haha) it will be an instant reminder and I even got to the point where I laughed when he called because of what I'd put down as his name, it was pretty bad, haha. The best option is of course to delete the number altogether but if he is going to call and be a pest then at least do this if you feel tempted to pick up the phone, it works and it may give you a needed laugh.
I'm sorry that NC has been so hard for you.
Hi Nikki,
Happy Holidays...thanks for taking the time to reply.
I am so prouf of my efforts since NC was so hard for me for so long. It is the best call as recommended here and well, I am convinced it's the only way I can heal.
Well, I am convinced he is not going to call again. The thing is he is not in his city with his booty calls..he is now with family in his native country and now misses what true love we had..and is very nostalgic and missing me. He sent a nice email to me (I found it in the junk mail and could NOT resist reading one of the 5 he sent..he said he misses my love and me very much. It was short and sweet. Also he said he will not call again. I think because we broke the NC rule so many times, he didn't take it seriously. Since I not called him since Dec. 4 is incredible since we used to talk 2-5 times each day.
The email was somewhat helpful to read. It is nice in that I know he loves me...but yes, for awhile lately he has been very selfish. Is he a jerk, sure, we all are at times when matters of the heart go awry.
So, my New Years plan is to whip my body into shape, surround myself with good friends and healthy living and to embark on new life adventures meeting men for casual / platonic dates. I will continue my spiritual and emotional work..and NO CONTACT..
Thanks..Happy Holidays to ALL of you today...