Why won't he leave me alone
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| Fri, 03-23-2007 - 4:53pm |
To make a long story short, I got my heart pretty much ripped out 3 years ago when the person that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, just ended things without so much as an explanation. I felt hurt, betrayed, lied to, stupid, unworthy, etc. The problem is, I kept sleeping with him for a year after we broke up. I cannot explain why I did it other than I thought he would come around. Yes, that was a huge mistake....
After I broke things off completely in December 2005, he continued to call, email, text message, saying he wanted to be friends. I told him to stop contacting me altogether. He did for a few weeks and then things started up again. That has been pretty much my life for the past 2 years. I get middle of the next text message at 2:00 a.m, or the random email.
About a year ago, I decided to not respond at all to any of his emails. And he went away, or so I thought. He recently came back into the picture, again, sending emails, text messages, at all hours of the night, sending me photos while he is on vacation, asking me to meet him for a drink. Now, the thing is, he has a serious girlfriend, who I just found out, he is living with. So, what's the deal? Why keep contacting me when I have made it very clear that I want nothing to do with him? I have told him we will never be friends.
This is a guy who comes into my lfe whenever I begin a new relationship. It is like he has a radar and knows when I am happy, and then when he does enter, I just have a difficult time maintaining the new relationship and I bale. The thing is, since he dumped me, I have had all sorts of insecurities, and my MO, now is, date a guy for a few weeks and then leave before any feelings get involved.
I just don't know what he wants or why keeps up the effort when I don't respond.....and haven't responded in a year. I am happy now, just starting to dating somebody who I really like, and I don't have those insecurities that I had with prior guys.
So, what is he looking for?

Well, he could be looking for a hook-up, or for validation that he's not the "bad guy" who ripped your heart out (because if you'll talk to him now, how bad could he be?), or any number of things. Only he knows for sure. But the bottom line is, it doesn't matter why he's doing this or what he's looking for. It's up to you to stop allowing him to have access to you. Change your phone number; block him from emailing you; and/or report him to the police for harrassment if need be.
Sheri
Welcome to the board phili2004 -
As nicely as possible:
:About a year ago, I decided to not respond at all to any of his emails.
Are you responding now? Have you thought about changing your phone number?
How did you learn about him living with someone?
My guess is that he's fishing. Maybe he's scared of getting too close to someone so he is sabotaging the relationship by reaching out to
reading what you had put had me in tears cos it was like reading about myself but with 1 or 2 different bits why do we do this to ourselvs its like a punishment but its not us that should be punished .
me and my ex split just under a year ago now and we have still been sleeping together for the same reasons as you said in hope he would come back but it just made me more and more unhappy cos i felt used and at the end of the day it is me that is doing that too myself .
but this week i had done so well i had put distance between us not txt him unless he txt me and deffinatly havent phoned him and i started to feel better more able to cope and start moving on but today he came round out of the blue and i tried really hard not to look him in the eye and not to stand too close to him and all that but he came over and gave me a hug (why there really was no need)i didnt hug him back and he picked up on it and mentiond it so i hugged him back (right back to square 1) the hug felt so warm and loving just like it used to and i fooled myself .
now i just feel so low and like rubbish i know its not nice what you are going throug but its kind of nice to know that ya not alone
hope u sort it out and dont let him keep coming back your worth more than that