falling apart faster everyday
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falling apart faster everyday
| Fri, 03-23-2007 - 6:53pm |
Well I think I am still in shock.... my husband of 2 yrs (together 11yrs) told me two days after we moved into our first home he wants a separation. That he is not happy. That we don't see things the same way. This kinda floored me. We have a 16 month old daughter, we uprooted from where we were living to come live in the same city as his family... we asked my father to move with us to help us with the mortgage so he was uprooted from the apt he lived in for 31 yrs.. and my husband is not happy. HE says he's been feeling this way for about 8 months but decided after we signed the papers he wants out. Course everytime we talk it's a different timeline.. the best one was for the last yr... well I was raising our daughter.. as a first time mom.. putting all my attention to her needs he says I didn't nurture our relationship. I don't know how to deal with this!!! I cry everytime someone asks how I am.... I get angry everytime I see his face... (he's still living in the home)..... I'm having a difficult time .....I don't know what to do... He says he wants clarity in our relationship... he wants structure... and separation is the best solution.... we went to marriage couselling for 3 sessions.. that's it... he doesn't see the point. of the couselling........... I need support.....

All i can really say is hang on in there i know it dont help but ya got to be strong for you little one every morning i get up go look in the mirror find something posative to say about myself and put my smile on for the day so my 2 children see mummy being happy but when they gone to bed if you need to let it out just do it your only human .
You sound like a good mum by the fact you put so much love and time into looking after your child but remember you are important aswell we need to look after ourselvs to look after them as we want to .
sending lots of love,hugs and support
fionaxx
Hi Lorihannah and welcome to the board.
What you are going through is really sad.
I completely understand. My husband of 9 years (together for 11, known one another for 13; nearly half our lives!) moved out almost 3 months ago. About a month ago, he asked me to dinner and said that he wanted to work on our marriage. I was ecstatic. But, since then he really hasn't shown that he wants to work on our marriage. As he told me through an email a few days ago, that he doesn't want to make plans with me for next week in case "something better comes along".
I'm sure that your emotions are all over the place. I was devastated at first, was a complete zombie, barely going through the motions of my day. After two weeks I realized what I was doing to myself and my students and snapped out of it. I still cried, just not as much. I've gone through devastation, crying all the time, anger, fear, guilt, and now I can currently say that I am back to anger after his attitude.
Do continue with counseling even though he won't. It helps to have someone to talk to. I actually have my 2nd appt. this morning, and have been looking forward to it all week. He was supposed to go with me, but now refuses because he's mad at me. I'm trying not to let it bother me.
Read those books that Cltwinflame listed. I have read, or are reading some of those and they are wonderful.
I wish you luck.
i know how hard it is and like you its my 2 kids that keep me going and i also hate it when it seems they dont want me they want him and all i can think is why him he left us why not me the person who is there but at the end of the day they aint doin it cos they dont love us its just cos they r kids and dont understand what is going on around them .
What breaks my heart is my daughter is 5 and kind of understands and keeps asking why dont daddy love me (how do u explain 2 a 5 yr old its not you he dont love its me) .
but please try and keep strong i will tell you what me and you will do this together and we will both get through it yeah keep ya head up i know ya dont feel like it but try
and remember i am here for you yeah so just let it out cry 2 me if u want whatever i will always try my best to help .
take care and you are stronger than this and will make it through
xxxxxxxxxxx
I bet it is hard when your child seems to understand.... my little girl is only 16 months old so she has no idea.. but I think she senses something is wrong... and yes I appreciate your help and I think we can do this together. I know I need some support and I'd love to be there for you as well. I can talk to my family but they are angry and hurt and they really don't know what it feels like deep down inside... they keep telling me to "get over it" like it's that easy. I still love the JERK. I need to be able to talk with someone who is going through this......... so again thank you......
but it is helping that i can talk to you and you can talk to me you are helping me more than you could think .
do you have msn because if you want i can add you to my friends list and then can talk whenever you feel you need to even if its to rant and scream how much you hate him (i am getting very good at doing that lol) but if not i am sure we can find another way of talking yeah hope you and your little girl are ok speak soon take care
sending love fiona,alisha and cohen (thats me kids)
I am on MSN lorilonecat@hotmail.com should find me....... it would be great to rant and vent and even just chat..... it makes me feel alot better to get it off my chest. Let me know if you can't find me.....