Please help me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Please help me!!
5
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 3:48pm
Please help me. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend of 7 years, (we met in college when we were 19) has left me for another woman. He says he still wants me in his life, but he just does not know in what capacity. There is this girl he works with who is 21 and he wants to try tp "make things work with her". I really feel like I can't deal with this. He is not only my love, he is my best friend. He has been there for me through everything and I for him and now it is all over. I don't know what I am going to do. All I can do is cry. He lives in Dallas and I live in LA and I can't deal with the fact that I am never going to see him again. We used to talk three or four times a day and visit once a month. All I want for him to do is call me. Just call and check on me and he hasn't. I don't know what I am going to do. I can't concentrate. I can't eat. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I am sitting around just waiting for him. And thinking about what he is doing with her. Is he kissing her???Holding her??? Just this past Saturday, a week ago today, we were talking about our relationship and how we both had made mistakes, but that we had always been there for one and another and now he is gone. Please help me get through this. I don't know what to do. All I can do is cry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:06pm
I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but we are all here for you. It's okay to cry, and you will for awhile. Just TRY to keep yourself busy. Take a hot bath, or read a book. I know it's easier said than done. All of us feel that there is nobody in the world who's ever felt the kind of pain that we do. But there is. Reading other posts on this board did not make me "happy", but it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in all of this. This board is full of broken hearts, but it won't be that way forever. (((Hugs)))and keep posting with us. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:40pm

Welcome to the board fallingapartalone,


Everything you feel is normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:53pm

Hi there

This must have come as a terrible shock so it isnt suprising your so disraught. The fact is he has done you wrong and you dont deserve this kind of treatment. Of course you still want to hear from him its only natural but for your own health and sanity you need to focus all your attention on yourself and get people around you who love you.

I know what you mean about crying, im sick of hearing myself...but its ok just let it out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 6:18pm

Falling apart--
I know what you are feeling as I'm going thru the same thing myself.
I've known my ex for 7 yrs and we've dated for 5 of those and lived together for 4 1/2. I actually left my entire family and moved 7 hrs away to be with him--not my smartest move. We had the typical arguements and I wasn't always happy, wondering if we'd make it etc etc etc but we always worked it out. I thought that we were soul mates (the way we met and the fact that we'd dated for so long). Boy was I wrong. Between Christmas and New Years he went to visit some friends and while he was gone he'd decided that he just didn't want a g/f anymore. He didn't even come home for New Years and left me sitting here by myself w/o even a phone call. My heart was broken but still I thought that he'd come back and we'd work it out...b/c that's what couples do right? Hmmmm not this time.
He's been staying with a friend for 3 mths now and I at the apt with his brother (loser). I've been weighing my options on whether or not to stay or go back home to where my family is, we're very tight knit. I've recently found a company that I think is going to offer me a job Monday but then, like you, I am scared. Even though we're not dating, he does call to check on me and the dog and stuff but they're 3 min coversations and when I hang up I'm miserable b/c I didn't hear what I wanted to hear, even though it's the worst thing for me... I still want him to tell me he loves me and that he made a mistake but he never does. Usually I don't even answer the call and that breaks my heart too. So now I'm scared to leave b/c I'll probably never see him again and I don't know how I'll deal with that. Stupid thing is is that I haven't seen him more than a handful of times now since the break up so it's not that different but I know it's final and that's what' gettnig me.

I try to keep it together and I still cry (Heck I've cried on and off all this week) but it does get better. I'm so not myself but I try to talk to friends a lot and I keep a journal too. I write a lot of the same things day after day but I still write it out.
I did buy him a goodbye card for when I do leave but I've not written anything in it yet b/c I don't really know what to day. I never thought that I'd be saying goodbye to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:43am
Go outside. Go to a park and feed the ducks. Do whatever made you feel really glad to be alive, BTC. That's Before This Creep. Men are great to have around, and some are Greater than others. ;) However, NO man is worth dying or going on medication or another drastic thing for. If he was so great, he wouldn't have left you. If he was so loyal and such a best friend, he wouldn't have hung up the phone with you and then gone out with his bit of fluff, which he obviously did. He may have once been there when you needed him, but now he's tried to toss you into the garbage bin, and he wants you to stay there, "in some capacity." Leave him one more message. "Screw you. I will walk away from this so-called friendship and never think of you again. There are more, and better men than you all around. Ciao, Loser." Bonus points if you play "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor in the background. You will not hurt forever. And you WILL find a guy worthy of you. Keep the Faith.