An email.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
An email.
6
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:59am
He sent me an email last night, actually, he fowarded it. It was one of those funny chain type emails. I'm thinking he just forgot to take me off of his list. I open it up, and see that he's online. Is it wrong of me to feel a little satisfaction that he was sitting home alone on a saturday night, just like I was? I'm sure he's not really missing me, but I'm sure he was feeling a little bored and lonely. (He told me he was before I came into his life.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:20am

No its not wrong its normal. It doesnt help though to be reminded of him, maybe he did forget to take you off the list, maybe not. Either way i wouldnt respond to it as its not something you can read much into.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:48am

"Is it wrong of me to feel a little satisfaction that he was sitting home alone on a saturday night, just like I was?"

The answer is HECK NO! It should feel good to know that A: He was at home and not out partying or anything, and B: He was thinking of you

After a break-up I think it's normal to get satisfaction in knowing that your ex isn't better off without you. Or at least knowing they aren't happier without you. Everyone wants to know that an ex thinks about you after a break-up, especially if he's the one who left you.

In my case, he left me out of nowhere, and ever since (11 months ago) I have been wondering what he's thinking/doing/etc about since he's not with me anymore. I want him to miss me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 11:15am
You know, it did cross my mind that he WAS thinking about me, but I let that go. I think he fowarded that email to everyone on his list. He doesn't "throw" people away. When we were together, he had alot of his ex's on his messenger list, their phone numbers still in his phone..ect. It bothered me, but I didn't want to try to control him even in the smallest way.
Even if he was missing me, it's not enough to want me back. After the breakup, he still wanted to "hang out", but since he didn't see us in anything long term, he didn't know what kind of relationship it'd be. It was me that decided no contact was the best thing. I read a post on here about someone in the same postion, and she was told "He wants to keep in touch with you to ease his guilt, so he doesn't feel like "the bad guy." I think that was the case with my ex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 1:00pm

I think that was my post actually. LOL. I told someone on here when her ex was being really rude and hateful to her that it was his way of pushing her away so he didn't feel like he had to explain anything, and it made it easier on him. My ex is doing the same thing. The ONE time we have spoken since we broke up he said hated me for the way things happened with us. He doesn't call/text/email or anything, and he's the one who dumped me! He started dating my friend a month ago, and I'm almost positive that he is doing it to hurt me.

Your ex probably keeps you (and other ex's) on his email list, phone book, etc. for security in case he wants to come back one day and/or because he doesn't want to let go. He wants to keep his options open, and make sure that YOU know he's still around (i.e. emailing you randomly) And I'm sure he still thinks about you unless he sends those emails without looking at who he's sending them to (very unlikely). My advice would be to not write back, at least not immediately. Your idea of "NO CONTACT" was a good one, and stick with it.

I wish my ex would send me a random email or something that shows he hasn't forgotten me. It's a good feeling to know they still care. I want that! Ugh...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 1:55pm
He started dating your friend? Ugh, what a jerk! He doesn't know it, but he's doing you a huge favor by leaving you alone. As for your "friend", what goes around comes around. Only, she'll probably suffer twice as much as you have. I think a random email would probably hurt you after you come off the two minute "high" you get when you realize he has not forgotten you. Still, you deserve more than someone throwing you a bone once in awhile, and giving you little shreds of hope.
I'm a little happy, because there was no temptation at all to email him back. If I did, it would have been a nasty email, telling him to stay out of my life lol. But I still care about him, and don't want to hurt him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 2:53pm

LoL. I like that "two minute high" thought, its funny. That's truly what it is! It will wear off, but I still want it soo bad!! We dated for almost 5 years so the thought that he could just delete me, and be fine with never talking to me again bothers me soo much! And then, the fact that he's "hanging out" with my EX-friend makes it even worse! I can't stand thinking that I didn't make him happy, but SHE does...

Neither of them are worth my time, but I can't seem to shake this...

But people say that as soon as I move on, he'll figure out that he made a mistake... I want to move on, but all I can think about is what will make HIM want me so I can turn him down for once. and say, o'well it's too late... ugh. im frustrated.