Why am I not mad at him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
Why am I not mad at him?
5
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 1:02pm
So me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago...one of those lets see where things take us if we are apart. I miss him a lot...I dont miss his selfish ways but I do miss us. He went to Mexico 3 days after we broke up, told me he got the tickets right before we broke up. He has always been very honest with me so I trust him, but I could be completely naive. Maybe he bought them 3 months ago and chose to not tell me about it, I dont know. Anyway he called right after he got back and we are still "loving and missing" each other. Its like he said he isnt ready for anything more serious right now because he needs to know himself...typical BS. But when I do talk to him everything is great, I am so MAD about Mexicot thing and I never made a huge deal about it because I dont want to be that nagging girl...but its still messed up. I think about him a lot and want him back in a way. It makes me so mad !!! I need to not think or care about him right now...because he isnt good for me :(( I want to be mad and not want to talk to him...but I am not. I am my nice self and it pisses me off.
Ughhhhhhhhh, sigh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 1:07pm

lol, thats the problem when we love someone its impossible to stay mad whatever they do, which makes us mad at ourselves.

He seems to be messing with your head a little, i think you should do no contact for a while and see how things go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:41pm

Actually, what you're doing is harboring resentment towards him;

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:59pm
going through the exact same thing now. i know how you feel. i wish i could just let go and be mad at him and get over him but there's so many feelings there still. i think part of the problem is that we're both still harboring hope that it may be ok, that we may fix it and get back together. so if you're mad you're afraid you may ruin that chance. my ex (wow this is the first time i referred to him as my ex) said "lets talk" on wednesday and i'm terrified he'll say that's it. but you know what, all we can do is be honest with them and ourselves and if it doesn't work out, we'll be ok. even if it doesnt look like it now. it may just have not been meant to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 6:17pm
I think what the best thing to do right now is step away and just take time for myself. I dont know what the future holds...but I know it will be whats the best for me. I do love him...but I have loved and gotten over it before as well. I need to focuse on myself do the no contact thing and see where it goes. If I end up happy with someone else, than thats what was meant to be, and if I end up with him than thats what had to happen. Life takes silly turns to teach us lessons. Just thinking how much better I am doing with this break up from the last one which was 2 years ago is a comforting feeling...weird ha ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 6:32pm
em this is kinda weird because i've had the exact same thoughts. my last big break up was 2 yrs ago and the reason why i'm feeling stronger now is because i've been through it and know i can do it. you're right, focusing on ourselves is the best thing to do right now. and things will be ok.