i dont know how to deal anymore
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i dont know how to deal anymore
| Fri, 03-30-2007 - 5:08am |
i only write in here because no one else will understand and to be honest i just hate being lectured. i'm drunk right now like an idiot and i'm so sad. my god i miss him so much. its like i kind of hate myself. i'm 23 yrs old and i can date this behavior back 10 yrs already. thats sad. i met someone when i was 13 and i fell so hard for him and it hurt like hell i can still remember how i felt. so innocent yet i still felt so much for a guy. when i was 17 i got over him and i met someone else and i fell so hard. that was different that was more mature. i loved him and thatended and i wanted to litteraly die. somehow i got over it. i had two more relationships after that and the breaks ups were bad too... and now i am where i'm at. i know hes not over me. i know it. thats not the point thogh. we cant be together but why am i sitting here crying and hes probably just sleeping. he told me the other day that you dont have to get over it you just have to move on and i thought well thats true just because you move on it doesnt mean your over it and i felt better. i felt better because i went on my spring break. i was great. i shouldnt have spent that week with him after spring break. i want him bck and i dont know why. i feel so in love with him right now and im sad and theres nothing i can do. why can he be fine and why cant i? why can they all be fine and why cant i? ever since i was 13 why are they always fine and why am i not ever?

I know how you are feeling right now and how unfair it feels. My ex is on a dating site already just days after us breaking up! I couldn't even think of chatting with someone new let alone going on a date right now but he's ok enough to do that. To be honest, I felt ok for a couple days but now I'm just a mess and all this feels so overwhelming.
Try to be as strong as you can right now and not worry about what he's doing, easier said than done I know. I'm trying to do that myself right now and its not working very well but try to hold on and try to be ok. Even if you don't feel ok right this minute, know that you will be...