And now this...
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| Sun, 04-01-2007 - 9:02am |
Hi All,
So it's been 6 weeks since I last spoke to my ex gf, and since March 10th I ended all email contact. NO CONTACT has helped me focus on Letting Go, and healing.
Part of that healing has been to get out and circulate beyond my social circle where my ex gf often shows up. So I did the 21st Century thing and took out a personal ad. I wanted to meet some solid friends who shared my interests. My ad began: "Tired of meeting the wrong people?..." then described my interests, that I was looking for a real person who could be a friend first. I got 12 responses within the first 2 days.
Most seemed sincere and were looking for running partners or squash partners, or movie buddies etc which was just great with me exactly what I was looking for...
We chatted and in one case this past week on Wednesday we spoke and set up a movie date for Saturday night. Then she suggested we meet up for a casual dinner before hand at 8:15.
We confirmed Saturday morning by sms. I showed up at 8:15...no date...8:25, I called...got answering machine. SMS'd her asking if she knew the address... no response.
8:30 I ordered....the place makes a great seabass.....which I finished...ALONE by 9:00. Paid the cheque by 9;15 and left...ALONE...no response to calls or sms'.
I was upset. I've been stood up by a blind date! I met some friends for drinks hung out and had a good time not letting it get to me.
I got home, went to bed. In the middle of the night I get an sms which I read in the morning. It came in at 4:17am from the date who stood me up. It read: I"m so so so sorry! I went to the big game, drank a lot and so I went home to get some rest befre we meet. And I just got up. Oh no! Please forgive me. Pls forgive me!"
Then at 10, I got a call---which I ignored. Again an apology. Then 3 more sms' apologies. After the horrible break up, I really don't need the drama or the disrespect. Not a great first impression.
I replied: "I waited more than an hour. I don't need the drama. Not interested. Good luck."
She sent more sms' pleading to meet and make it up. No thanks.
What's that phrase...."March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb"...? My March has been a tough one. It's enough to make me want to break NO CONTACT and beg for reconcilliation.
But I just laughed. I guess it's par for the course. I was proud that I didn't buy into the drama and give this person a second chance. In my vulnerable state, that would not be a good idea.
Thanks for listening.

Hi Walawala~
Sorry to hear about this. I know what you mean though about meeting flakes. I was supposed to meet up with a guy after he got off of work last night. Sent a txt and got NADA. Just gotta laugh about it eh?
L
Wow. Its great you're meeting people and all, but too bad you're so hurt as to be so unforgiving of simple human error. Maybe you shoudl add "perfectly punctual" on your profile. Personally, I would save us a lot of headache and not respond to that ;)
It's one thing if a person intentionally hurts you, another one entirely if they make a simple mistake and you can't find it in your heart to see past that. I do understand it can be very hurtful to go through that, but she apologised profusely and you still didn't come down off your horse. That's your right, though. Just wow.
I guess if she's the type of person who jams too many activities together and you're the type to order if they're 15 mins late (wow), maybe it's best you found out now than later.
Good luck with the social networking!
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Good for you! I agree with you completely and actually have had the same thought myself when I felt drama "brewing" with some new guy -- I don't need it, don't want it, please take it elsewhere.
Thanks for this post :)
I would like to join the March was Tough Club. What could go wrong did go wrong....and your first real journey out there and treated with such disrespect. Frankly, I admire that you stayed and had dinner. That's AWESOME!! I could never have done that. Such an inner strength you have.
I'm going to remember your story when I next deal with the 'see-saw' guy I have been detaching from for the last month. I haven't handled it well - so that makes it extra special to deal with ~ not anything psycho...lol...just stupid stuff like taking his calls/ buying his lines. I know better than this and I've prolonged everything way to long.
New month - new start!
Yeah, you don't need to be meeting someone who drinks to the point of passing out and missing a date, that's for sure!
But are you sure dating at all is a good idea, even in the guise of "meeting new people"? My strong opinion (which you can of course take or leave) is that you really need some time on your own to get over your ex first.
Sheri
Thanks! In the state of mind I'm in, setting boundaries on this is empowering. My ex gf came over absolutely legless on a Friday night I'd made dinner. I ended up baby-sitting and frankly not a whole lot of fun. In the end she never appreciated it so why put one's self through the hassle of having to be a "nice guy" just to alleviate someone's guilt.
Yes, we're all human, yes, we all make mistakes but a mistake is getting the location wrong, not sleeping in. Clearly it wasn't that important. People here may have different ideas but it's how I feel right now.
Cheers!
Hi Sheri,
I know exactly what you mean. This is super super casual. Activity partners for movies with no expectations. I'm doing this simply to circulate. My other main social activity is dancing which I share with my ex. I'm just looking for some type of balance so that I can go to dancing and actually stay if she's there. Not sure if I'm quite there yet but I have bought a ticket to next Sunday's party and will see how that goes. Not sure if she's going and don't really care at this point. I'm not going to Tuesday's social.