Letting go of hurt and anger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Letting go of hurt and anger.
2
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 6:43pm
I'm proud to say that if he wanted me back, I'd probably turn him down. But I'm miserable! I don't know if my hormones or out of whack, or what. I'm so angry with him! Before he broke up with me, he told me he was sorry for anything he ever did to make me feel bad. I DID appreciate the apology. But what was he sorry for? Was he sorry that it got him "in the doghouse?" Or, is he truly sorry that he's hurt me, and undertood why some of the things he did and said hurt me? I didn't have the chance to ask him, I was crying so hard when we talked over the phone. But that's all I've ever wanted from him, just a little understanding. I wanted him to put himself in my shoes, just so he could see how he made me feel. But I guess it was too much to ask. It's too late now, and I still have all of this left-over hurt. Anybody ever go through this? Has anyone ever wanted to break NC JUST to argue?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 7:40pm

alittleafraid,

Do not break NC to argue! Absolutely no good will come of it. As hard as it is, this is when you need to be the bigger person! It is so tempting just give him a piece of your mind, but write what you are thinking down on paper just to get it out, then throw it in the trash. It is amazing how well this process works.

Good luck!

Kat

www.saveakat.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 7:58pm
Thanks, Kat. When I get the urge to break NC, I turn my computer off, and walk away. I'll leave my phone upstairs, and go downstairs. (I'm the laziest person you'd ever meet after I get home from work, and take my bath. I HATE climbing the stairs lol.) After I've had a good cry, a little wine (Or a bowl of ice cream), my head is alot clearer, and I can read or watch T.V. Getting lost in a good book is a bad habit of mine, but it comes in handy now. I will definately try what you suggested. I don't want to be angry with him anymore, but I think it's a whole part of this maddening process.