I need help!!! He dumped me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
I need help!!! He dumped me
4
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 8:01pm

Hello everyone,
It's a pleasure to have guys like you. I'm presently in a situation where I was dumped about two weeks ago. I am living in the Caribbean and I was dating this guy for around seven months. this was a long distance relationship as he was living in the states. He was 14 yrs my senior, he being 40 and im 26. We were having a great relationship as i had known him since i was a teenager.(we were actually neighbours at one point before he migrated to the states).

To cut a long story short, however, we had an argument and it turns out that he was shouting at me and i got angry and told him 'not to speak to me like a kid' and he got all upset and told me tht he won't call me anymore. since then it has been 3 weeks now and he is not talking to me. I tried to call him and he said its over. Im so hurt because i love him so much . I keep calling and texting him but he is not responding. Im troubled!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 8:31pm

It seems that he treated you like a child, his child. A 40 something man looking for a LDR with a 26 young girl screams "fun" and not serious relationship. I may be off here, but it seems that this argument was the straw that broke the camel's back. I wonder why he was shouting at you and why you got angry? If you had a decent, respectful and normal relationship, shouting shouldn't have been involved.

Maybe, due to his age he sees you as a child, a child who he has to control and dominate. You on the other hand are not a child, but cannot make him see yu as an adult, a GF, an active participant in the relationship. FYI, after the 7th month or so all the flaws start to appear, and it's possible that this man's standards in life say that he can shout to you or any GF he may have.

If you called him and he said it's over then take his word, it s over. He'll in no time will get another 20 something girl to have some fun with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 9:57pm
Thanks for your response. Well he was shouting at me because i was supose to pick up my x ray reaults and was a bit late, so he thoguth he was being caring an di didnt appreciate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 11:13pm
Girl, I seriously think, coming from someone who was in a long distance relationship just under a year ago, that this is a blessing in disguise. I mean come on! If he really loved you then the statement "don't treat me like a kid" would NOT AT ALL be the cause of a break up!!! That's NOTHING!!! I feel that since you said that, it was just an excuse to break things off with you bc he was thinking about how to do it anyways. I'm not trying to be harsh, but this kinda stuff has happened to me, and honestly, do you want to be with someone who treats you like this just bc you had a bad argument where you defended yourself? It would be one thing if you and this guy kept bringing up the fact that you two have a lot of years between you, and you always said "stop treating me like a kid" bc he acts like he's wiser and smarter. I personally never date anyone that older than me for that reason, but hey, that's just me, we're all different. Overall, the fact that he's making you feel this way bc you said that is all together just ridiculous, but it also means that he doesn't care about you enough to treat you with some respect. I say move on. I'm really sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 3:14pm
Thanks for your comments my dear. Right now im feeling real hurt but you have comforted me. What you are saying is 100% true. I will try and get myslef together and move on. Thanks again.