Help...Please..
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| Mon, 04-02-2007 - 10:53pm |
Ok so. I started writing here a few months ago. 3 I think. About how my boyfriend dumped me newyears day, and started dating some other chick the next day that had my name..Anyways...almost a month ago, my friend spent the night at my house and her and my ex are like bestfriends, and she invited him and her boyfriend over to my house one night..So I spent the whole night with her and her boyfriend, and my ex..Akward much. Anyways..they left at like 12:30 in the morning and my ex came online to her MSN and started talking to her and started asking her all these questions about me..Like if I still loved him and what not...And I couldnt lie..I did still love him...And he told her that he missed me, and that spending time with me again made him wish we hadnt broken up. And that if I was willing, he wanted to give us another chance..I was going to say no..tell him that I wasnt going to go through all of that again. But just as I went to say no, I said yes..I spent the next 3 days with him. It was great. Everything felt like it had before, and it felt like we hadnt been apart for 2 months. But we didnt get alone time, we were always with some of our friends. Which was fine, I love spending time with friends. But it seemed over the next week or so, all the time I saw him, we were with other people..and I told him how I wanted to spend time with just him..and hes like "we`re alone now arent we" and it really upset me..It was even worse because we were only alone because we were waiting for his friends to come pick us up. Anyways...the next Monday-Wednesday I didnt talk to him...he didnt call or text or email..I called him wednesday night, last wednesday, right before I went to bed...he didnt seem like he really wanted to talk to me. So we hung up..I spent ALL of Thursday with him...and his friends. Anyways..Friday, Saturday and Sunday I once again didnt hear from him. And he wouldnt return my texts, and I didnt want to keep bugging incase he got annoyed with me. Anyways..he came over tonight(Monday), with friends. For like 20 minutes, still better than nothing. But all day everytime I text him and told him I loved him, he avoided it...Its like, sometimes he loves me, and misses me, and wants to be with me..But then 2 seconds later he could want nothing to do with me..its like the 2 months apart made him forget how to be a boyfriend.
Sometimes I know he loves me, and wants to be here with me..But other times I dont know, and it frustrates me because he came back to me because he missed me and he loves me..But then I dont talk to him for 4 days? he doesnt text or message or call. And then he avoids me when I tell him I love him. I dont know what to do, or to think....Or how to feel..Am I doing something wrong? Or is him whose confused and unsure..please help...its breaking me..:(

My thought?
He does not love you if he treats you that way.
Do you want the kind of love that does not value your feelings?
The kind of love that decides to ignore you sometimes?
Are you not worth more?
Kat
www.saveakat.com
My thoughts:
Too much, too fast. Take it slower, easier, don't be so dang clingy, it's probably what broke you up in the first place?
Good luck,
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
I know how he feels, you know how your guy feels so what gives?
I am reading this book, The Truth About Love by Pat Love. I was waiting for a ride after I dropped my car off at the shop so I went to the library and started thumbing through this book. And when my ride got there I thought 'screw it, i'll take it out'. She describes this as the Post Rapture phase of love. Its the time when infatuation wans and we move into a new dimention. Its when someone will say "I love you but I'm not in love with you" but they are they just don't have the same intense feelings they used to so they think the attraction is gone. You and your guy and me and my guy are what is the Pursuer and Distancer roles. You and I are Pursuer and we want contact, answers, initiation. The guys are distancers they want to run away and through themselves into other activities and basically hide out, but they also want to feel appreciated and basically chased. They like when we go after them but not to the point of nagging or clinging. It makes them feel worth it.
So the premise is that pursuers need to shut up but distancers need to show up. We both need to talk about our needs in a non-judgemental way. Ask him to initiate contact because it makes you feel happier. He doesn't have to do it it all the time but once in a while would be nice. And ask him what he needs from you. I'm planning on doing this if I can get a hold of my guy! I'm trying to be patient and give him what he needs. Because I know what he wants, me. I'm darn sure of that. He needs to come around to that. Same as your guy.
I know no one ever wants to admit or even think they're acting clingy, most times we don't even see it,
Hi angel,
From reading your post, I got that it moved way too fast.
Wait for him to contact you.