Confused
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Confused
| Thu, 04-05-2007 - 10:27am |
My boyfriend and I of 3 years just recently broke up. He says he doesn't want to be with me anymore right now, but we are trying to rebuild our friendship. We love each other, just not in love with each other. I've asked him about getting back together, but he is just not ready. However, he still keeps me around him like a girlfriend behind closed doors and is affectionate. I've been confused and talked to him about it, but he says he just doesn't want to be with me again yet. He talks to other women and doesn't tell me about it and says he has nothing to explain to me. Yet he expects me to tell him everything. He treats me and my daughter fine. He sees us in his future, but he's still very moody and mean to me sometimes. I just don't get it. Should I stick around or just cut it off?

Whoa, at the VERY minimum, cut off the sexual favors. Seriously, every single time you give in to the temptation, or allow him to put his hands on you, let him speak to you in a way that only a lover should, or *you* act in a way only a lover should, you completely reinforce the fact that you are OKAY with being treated this way, cast aside like last week's leftovers.
If he can't be sure about how he feels about you, no amount of gold-plated nooky is going to win him back, do you hear me? If he's only doing this behind closed doors, it's because somehow, he's ashamed of you. Is that what you deserve? No, it's not.
There is apparently NO give-and-take in this "trying to build a friendship" with him. Just what kind of "friendship" is this one-sided? Would you have sex with "just a friend"? Would you account yourself to a friend while receiving none back?
Unless you treat yourself with respect, no one else will and you'll continue to get what you've been getting-- not a whole lot. He will also continue to get what he's been getting-- everything including no-strings sex, except the responsibility to you.
Come on, I know you know better than this. Your let-down and disappointed feelings after each time have to be telling you this is not right. Draw a line, maintain your boundaries. Treat yourself and expect to be treated like the gem you are.
Good luck,
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do