Great Song, I've been crying all day, g

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Great Song, I've been crying all day, g
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 8:17pm

Listen to the song "Still There for Me" at http://www.kebmo.net/ (click on music then listen).

I talked to my EBF today, it was so nice. He moved to Florida in January, telling me that he would never leave me behind but he needed go where he could find better work in his industry... and wanted to be with his friends (I had plans to move in the next year). Anyway, after a month he ended up meeting someone that "he loves" but from what I can gather they broke up a few times already, but then he just asked her to move in (I have my sources). She said no, as she has a child.

Anyway, he said today "Oh, I was at so-and-so's house". Not even trying to hide it anymore. And used her name!! He doesn't need to hide it but that really really hurt. It was a friendly conversation and it made me miss him all that much more. I sent him a copy of this song.

Right here, right now, I am going to stop looking at thier ms pages (34 is too old for that anyway). I am going to stay out of contact. I do want him back, we had problems here and they stemmed from his own self-worth issues (a wonderfully wise woman here said that we love someone not because of who they are but how they feel when they are with the other). He's moved on, and knowing that "he would give anything to keep me in his life" I still hold on to hope that he'll sing this song to me someday. Until then, the NC count has to start tomorrow.

I've been trying to keep myself on his mind for fear that he will forget about me and there will be no hope ever. We've been through so much and this love will never die. He is just stuck on "we don't work". We didn't because he was unhappy with everything. I'm here, she's there, she got him when he got better.

I am going to face my fear of being left behind and fading away and I'm going to just let life happen. Otherwise it's going to kill me.

Listen to the song, it's great.

Today is Day One Eve!