broken up and still living together
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| Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:44am |
my ex and i broke up about a month ago. it was a disaster from the start actually. we wanted to be together and i got with him knowing that it was gonna be an open relationship. it went downhill when i found out he was starting to disrespect me by telling other women lies that he was unsatified by me, and talking down on me by telling them what they want to hear I guess.
so long story short, we work together on a production company, we live together, and he dumped me because he didnt want to have a relationship. We are both depressed during this time of our life, things were not going the way we wanted, so in my time of need he decides to break up with me. He says its not the right time for us to be together, he needs to grow up and work on himself so he can give me what i need in the future, and he feels i need to do the same.
i can't help but feel like he jumped ship when i needed him most, and i dont know if i can ever forgive him for that. we still live together for a number of reasons, but hes planning to move out when he can save enough money. at this point i dont know what to do. we fight all the time about it, and i hate fighting. i dont want to do it anymore. he doesnt go out but when he goes out all night i dont know what to do or if i should say anything.
it drive me nuts when hes on the computer talking to everyone in the world, becuase i think hes talking to women about me. I caught him telling women he barely knew about our relationship and i felt that was very disrespectful. I cant get over feeling rejected and hurt by him. some days i hate him, and some days i miss him.
i want to move on but i dont know how. i feel so alone, i dont have a good relationship with my family and all my freinds are in other states.
i dont know what to do, i want therapy, but i dont think i can afford it.

thank you so much for your kind words. Its actually over now. i did the unthinkable and i asked him if he was still talking about me in the manner that he was and he said no. So, Yes I invaded his privacy and found an email that he sent the this person and i found out he told her everything.
So now he is moving out in a few weeks, and he no longer wants anything to do with me. hes crutching on the fact that I invaded his privacy but he will not see what hes doing to me from my point of view. I know i sound like a broken record, but when we were committed to being together, it was golden. it wasnt until misfortunes came into our lives that it took a turn for the worse. I told him last night all i ever did was love him unconditionally. I forgave him for many things, and had lots of patience becuase we wanted it to work. now that I did this, he claims there is no more us, and that we have nothing to work on that involved a relationship. i am so devastated.
when i showed him his email to this girl, i only wanted him to see the error in his ways, since he was not listening to me. and now it just backfired and I feel that we are both losing good people in our lives. Dont get me wrong, he is a great man, and a great partner when the time is right for a relationship. but due to the fact that this is his first relationship and my second. I was very spoiled by him. he gave me everything i wanted in a man, but it jsut wasnt the right time for us. i feel that he has a lot of learning to do. just as i do. but i never complained or behaved in a way like this prior to him disprespecting me.
i am in such denial, and i feel as if there is still hope for us, but this morning he refuses to look at me and allow me to touch him. i cant help but feel that i really messed up a good thing and i told him that its truly sad that hes willing to let a good woman like me go. Without forgiving me. I am so empy inside i dont know what to do.
my freind wants me to move out to atlanta with her, and my other freind wants me to come back home to california. i just found a good job out here in chicago, but i dont know if stayin is the right thing for me to do. hes very much involved in the social networks out here and I am bound to run into him.
i dont know what to do.
Why do you NEED his forgiveness? He made things worse by talking trash to other people about you? He's the one who needs your forgiveness. You seem to have a low self esteem and no self worth. Girl, don't let a man define who you are. He made mistakes and he's willing to admit it. That's a man with no character, he conducts himself in tis manner and it's acceptable to him. He's not a good man, he's a liar and a disrespectful human being. Maybe he's the man you want, but he's not a good man for you.
I'd take up the offer of one your friends. They seem good friends willing to support you. Staying in Chicago, with a good job, but without a good support system is not good for you. If you move, look for a job and start your healing process. Think about it. Think about what it's good for YOU.