what happened?
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what happened?
| Sat, 04-07-2007 - 3:54pm |
Hi, I need some advice, I was dating this awesome guy for a little over a month, we spent every weekend together, out to dinner, met his best friends, really close friends, etc, he is a successul contractor, so i met alot of people during this time, he treated me like princess, out to eat, always telling me how beautiful i was, just the best, problem was he went through a horrible divorce not quite 3 years ago, followed almost immediatley by a 2 year live in girlfriend that just ended a month before i met him even though all her stuff wasnt yet out, and he had taken her to dinner a week before we met. they continued to talk when we dated, "as friends" she is the needy type she lost he job during this time, etc. and he wanted to be friends, which i had no problem with. then everything was great, better then great when I left his house on sunday, then all off a sudden he ended it, he told me that she had stopped to get her mailon Monday and she told him her life was falling apart, etc, all week she talked to him about her problems, he said he was concentrating so much on her, and then he ended it saying he got scared because he really really liked me. he had told me all these things he wanted to do with me, plans for the next 6 months at least. I think he just isn't over her, not enough toget back together, but enough to break us up. god i miss him.

oh my gosh, this must be very painful for you and i completely empathize with what you must be going through.
i think the only thing you can do in a situation such as this, is wait it out for awhile and see what happens. if the relationship between you & this guy is meant to be, it will be. don't pressure him, just try and live your life as best you can right now, use friends for support, get out as much as you can, and be good to yourself. above all, let him make the first move in contacting you if that is what he chooses to do. if not, obviously there is nothing you can or could have done about it. i know this is very hard but you must tell yourself if his feelings for you are that strong, he will realize it, and you can pick up with him and continue where you left off.
its unfortunate that he still appears to have been emotionally involved with her ex when he began seeing you. know that you are not alone, similar situations have happened to all of us. be strong, you can get through this.
best of luck
Hey Hun,
Sorry your dealing with this. It sounds like a whirlwind thing! I honestly can say that it SOUNDS like he was NOT ready for you or a relationship! I'd say ~ pretty simply....let this happen because even if this girl didn't come back to him, he certainly wasn't ready to plan 6 months in advance on a relationship! Sounds like he "rushed" to get your relationship ahead quicker....it sounds like a replacement girlfriend (sorry if that sounds harsh)....I think he needs TIME, maybe you should give it & see if you hear from him again when he is READY! Ready for YOU!
Take Care & Big Hugs, Sweetie
The bond that kept you and this man together during the one month you dated is clearly not as strong as the one that continues to keep him attached to his ex-girlfriend.
If this man is serious about having a relationship with you, his ex's personal circumstance and character won't have any impact his life in the "present tense", and the woman who he is supposedly sharing it with (that would be you... the woman he started dating AFTER he ended his relationship with his FORMER girlfriend).
If reality is to the contrary, you have to accept what you see playing out in front of you: his ex is still has a priority place in his life.
If he isn't ready to make you his number 1 priority, don't push the matter, and don't get lost in trying to analyze a matter which is his to resolve.
mblade2006
"Just because everything is different
You are 100% right. I know that, the ex is obviously a priority over me, and i know it is because they were together alot longer, and he was not over her when we started up. I'm just saying his feelings for me did not just go away and i am not waiting, but I think if he would b completely done with her, which I think he will, there is a very strong possibility he will come back, as his feelings never changed for me. I'm not trying to analyze it, I just know what i know, there is no way I could compete with is ex as she has history with him on her side as I do not. it is his move.