need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
need advice
3
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:48am

since my last post, the NC failed because i called him on Friday to have our shared cell phone plan switched to 2 separate plans. Since then, I have started over and made it through the weekend.

it's been difficult. my emotions keep changing. one moment i'm sad and the next i feel lost or angry. i want to pick up the phone and dial, but i don't because i think i will just take more steps back and feel even worse, even if hearing the ex's voice will only help at that moment.

in a way, i think i am too concerned with pushing myself to move forward and am analyzing the situation too much. i feel like my brain is on overload and i need to step back and let it come naturally.

i camped out at my friend's apartment for the weekend and he helped me out by just holding my hand and listening. but my friend is my ex-'s gay brother. i am the only one that knows he is gay and he has no familial relationship with my ex-. is this appropriate? he says that it doesn't matter, i'm his family too. but i wonder if i should back off and not lean on him too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: ccheckers
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:00am
You are completely fine with talking to your friend about it if he's there to listen to help you out. I've found out through this that most of the people in my life are fair weather friends. They need me to listen to them when they have problems but second I am not my cheery happy go lucky self they bolt! My cousin's have been the most supportive and who I can talk to when I need to. If your ex's brother is helping, family ties be damned! Do what you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
In reply to: ccheckers
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:09am
sun14, i completely understand what you mean by fairweather friends! i'm finding that some of the people i thought were my friends, aren't my friends at all!!! when i really need the support and someone to just listen even if they know both people involved, they don't want to help me when i am down!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: ccheckers
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:59pm
Right?! Doesn't it suck, when you are going through something Earth-shattering and then you have to deal with people leaving you high and dry? That took me all of one time to know that I do not want to deal with them on top of this. My friends are compartmentalized. I have a friend who I can talk about relationship problems with (not break-ups, just issues), one for job concerns. living concerns, etc. And now I have friends/family that I talk to about this. I don't need them to come up with perfect advice I need them to listen and bounce some ideas off of. I need them provide a shoulder to lean on, entertain my whacky ideas, and let me handle stuff on my own time. I feel better and that is what I care about.