No contact is so painful

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
No contact is so painful
5
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:13pm
Hi.. I am a little depressed. Since she went back to her husband I kind of broke the communication with her, she has been trying to connect with me but it is me that has prevented her to do that. I hardly return her calls or talk to her. I have asked not to contact me but I want so much for her to call me or send me an e-mail. I don't want to contact her but I am dying to call her and I don't know if I should do it or not. We haven't 'officially broken up', but it is pretty much certain since she doesn't need me any more. However, if I continue with my 'silent' attitude it will be ME who will actually end the relationship, not her. I wonder every minute if she is thinking on me, if she still loves me or, should I care? I secretly have hope that we can still love each other but I may be deceiving myself. The NC is making me suffer (don't know about her), so it is like I am punishing myself. I believe that others are feeling the same but what are you doing to do to overcome this very painful feeling? I am losing my concentration at work and 24x7 I am thinking on her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 3:02pm

Hi coolsal,


I gotta say, I nearly choked on this part:


We haven't 'officially broken up' especially in light of "she went back to her husband"


Don't you think you deserve someone that share mutual feelings with you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:36pm
Thank you so much! I will keep you posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2005
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:27am

hey buddy, i feel your pain. i was dating a women who was separated and filed for divorce when she decided to break up with me, but she is not going back to her husband. she used me to get through her tough time and now that she feels better she has kicked me to the curb.

Sorry about your situation. Continue with NC and I'm sure you'll feel better in time. Don't let her pull you back into a situation where you put your feelings on the line where you can get hurt all over again. Until she is divorced and shows 100% commitment to you i wouldn't even have contact with her. But from my understanding even if she gets a divorce the emotional baggage will take some time to get over.

hang in there buddy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 1:17pm
Thanks Elc Guy. I think I finally understand that my relationship with her is over, there is no future, nowhere to go. But what I don't know yet is how to 'let go' from my mind. I really want to let her go but I still can't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 1:34pm


Well, if she is back with her husband, I would think that you have no choice but to keep up the NC and try to move on.

I understand how you feel...my girl asked me to move out and I have been going crazy ever since. She doesn't have anyone else in her life and I keep messing up and contacting her. The last email she sent me was that she doesn't want anyone in her life right now and she is getting to a good place with herself and she wants to keep it that way.

I think you should do the same, as I know I need to as well. I know it is so very hard.

She gave me the feeling when we first broke up that she was already in a good place and was talking to me about stuff, like we were just friends. Now, approx 6 weeks after the breakup, she doesn't want any contact. Of course, my crazy mind thinks this means she still has feelings for me but still doesn't want to get back together right now.

I try so hard not to contact her and you shouldn't contact her either.

Good luck.