Do you think...??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Do you think...??
2
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 3:26pm

HI Everyone,

I was just curious of something? Any thoughts & opinions would be great.
When an Ex B/F or Ex G/F have been out of contact after a break up but then get back in contact via phone/e-mail....and all is nice/happy/good on the phone etc. Then, when a mutual meeting is planned because both would like to see eachother, in person, for like coffee or lunch, just something casual...What do you think that the MAN thinks he is doing this for? Do you think he does it to "test" himself? As in, do you think the Ex's (men in particular) want to see you for reasons like...to see how you are looking, to see if he FEELS something again when he sees you? Or do you think they just meet to Meet?

I know men typically don't overthink things like women do, but I remember once back in January when my boyfriend & I were doing our "back & forth" during our break up & him figuring out his feelings....after around 2 weeks of not being in contact we met up (at night like a date) and he told me afterwards, in another conversation later, that THAT NIGHT was a "Test" for himself...to see how he felt? Hmm. So now after being in contact with one another in a friendly, nice way, chit chatting & laughing....we are meeting Friday for lunch. So, I guess I wonder....do you think possibly this time he might even be "testing" himself again? To see if he has that "feeling" in his tummy when he sees me again or something? I know (as a woman) I wonder what my insides are going to do when I see this man that I still love & have Missed, Face to face for the first time since February 13th! We officially split on Feb 25th & haven't had any contact until last week. Now we are gonna have a casual meet(lunch) for a friendly "catch up".
So, what do ya think men do this for? I'm doing it cuz (between all of you & I) I stil love him of course (won't tell him that though & would even like to get back together). I know he cared a lot for me, and enjoyed spending time with me cuz we always got along & had fun. I just wonder if this is a test for him too?

DO men do this like women do...do they wonder how they might/will feel after such a long time?
Thoughts?

Thanks, Sweetie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 3:44pm

sweetie, i think everything is a possibility and he could be thinking a number of things. but none of us are in his head so we can't know and neither can you. and whatever he's thinking is irrelevant. you need to be clear about what you're thinking and what you're hoping to get out of this meeting. and be honest with yourself. because you can't go there with your hopes up. if you both set it up as lets meet and catch up then that's all you should be expecting. don't attach any high expectations to it or wonder where it may lead because that's defeating the purpose of meeting up.

just relax, be your strong, dynamic self and go to lunch as you planned. whatever happens after that, just go with the flow and react accordingly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 3:47pm

Thanks,

This is exactly my plan...go & do JUST that - "Catch Up" and not planning to discuss US and our relationship or anything to that nature! I'm certainly not expecting him to say "Oh I want you back"....but in some ways..I hope that he has that "feeling" when he sees me... and that maybe after a nice positive lunch, he questions his decisions. Who knows?? We'll see cuz I will update on here! LOL

Sweetie