Hi Friends...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Hi Friends...
3
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 4:12pm

I've been reading many of your posts and have taken great comfort in this board. It's assuring to know that I'm not the only one in the world going through this right now. Your stories hit close to home and I have the utmost compassion for all of you.

I also want to thank the CL for posting the breakup tips. Those have really helped me to stay on track and concentrate on healing. My mantra lately has been feel, deal, and heal. The good diet, excercise, journaling, and last but not least, NC, have been immensly helpful in my recovery.

I have been a strict advocate of NC for 2 weeks now. I've actually been broken up for three weeks this Saturday. Just when I think things are getting easier, something strikes me and I feel bad again. It doesn't help that he's finding creative ways to see or contact me. I've already asked that we not speak for a while, but he obviously hasn't been to this site! It's so funny how part of me desperately wants to see his name pop up in my phone and the other side wants to never see it again. I guess it's all a little teeter totterish right now.

I've already learned a great deal from this experience. I will never underestimate my strength again. I was so fearful of how I would handle all of this, and I surprise myself every day with my determination and persistence. I refuse to let this beat me! I wake up every morning and think of all of the things I'm thankful for. I don't think I've ever been so grateful in my life. Gratitude feels so pure and natural....a far cry from my phony un-authentic relationship.

So, cheers to new beginnings, re-connecting with old friends, making new ones, and becoming the people we were always meant to be.

Namaste.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jillarino
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 9:41pm
Welcome jillarino and thanks for posting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: jillarino
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 9:44am
Hello, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like this board has helped me through the worst of it... along with my friends and family. I also have been on no contact now for a week. He kept contacting me and finding ways to talk to me. I finally just said STOP! and told him that if he wanted ANY hope of being my friend in the future... he needs to respect my wishes when I say... "I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU FOR AWHILE." I think it was a huge blow to his ego. I wasn't calling him, or emailing him or texting him or IMing him. I just walked away for awhile. I find that I also underestimated my own strength. I am a strong, independent woman. Yeah, I might miss him, but it doesn't mean I want to talk to him. In the grand scheme of things, I just became really selfish and started thinking only about myself, not him. Sometimes you have to do that. I find myself also thanking God every time I wake up. I thank him for blessing me and giving me strength. I feel so much happier now. I think everyone gets to a point where they say "enough is enough". You realized that really really quickly. It took me three weeks. Others... it has taken weeks, months or years. I don't know about you, but feeling sad all the time and thinking about him all the time... is not what I want my life to be. We all must learn to pursue happiness. We should do that by getting rid of all the unhappy things in our lives. What's the point of keeping them around if they don't make you laugh or smile?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2006
In reply to: jillarino
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 11:29am
my sentiments exactly. though i must say you girls have made tremendous progess in a very short tme. i practised NC for 2 months till i realised this is good. i really don't WANT him.