who knew?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
who knew?
1
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 6:16am

hey all, im 21 years old n my 7 year and 360 day old relationship has come to an end after a fun day of going out for a jog around a local park and after eating subway in a nearby city. see, after we ate we came back into town and came to my house, we came into my room and i put on a movie. ..........let me back up, earlier in the day i recieved, and forgot to put away a doctors bill from a recent hospitalization that i had and that my girlfriend didnt know about. i was at the morongo casino near palm desert california and i passed out due to dehidration. i went for an ambulance ride n now im enjoying the bill....the bill that my girlfriend saw laying on the chair in my room, she wasnt worried about me or how im going to pay for my bill, no no!! she was furious at me because i didnt tell her that i went to the casino with a few people. see, shes the kind of girl who is very unsocial and is happy with no friends and even though she never admitted it, i felt she wanted me to have no friends either. serioisly, can u blame me for not wanting to tell her that i was going when i knew that all she was going to do was bitch at me and not want me to go? n e ways, she saw the bill and i had to tell her what happened and where it happened. see, i dont like to lie, i can however not tell somebody something for a long time but when they ask about it i cant lie n have to tell them, or in my case they find out by being nosey in my room. anyways, she broke up with me because she thinks that there is more that i am not telling her. she also said because i am not the kind of person who shows feelings and emotions and thats what she wants, i love this girl and never wanted to lose her. its crazy how my love didnt surface until i lost her. i should have shown more feelings towards her, emotion, gratitude for everything that she has done and instead of telling her, my dumbass is here typing away and thinking about the best girl that ever happened to me that also happened to be the one that got away because i let her slip right out of my grip. it was something that could have been prevented by honesty and trust and all that good stuff that should be in any relationship but was missing on her part and on mine.

sorry if this seems a lil confusing,its 3:15am n im tired .

n e ways can you ladies tell me what you would have done im my ex's situation. would you have broken up with ur guy because he didnt tell you where he went one night n u had to find out a couple of months later like i just described up there? i can understand being mad, but breaking up? come on!! i have a feeling she was just looking for a way out n she found it. please let me know ladies.

thx, vic-x610

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: vic_x610
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 11:29am
Wow... that's all really harsh. :) But, you did screw up by not telling her. That's the mistake. And you know it and hid it. If you had told her, as bitchy as she is, she might have been concerned about you when that happened. But, from personal experience, anyone who doesn't care about your well being, no matter what you did, doesn't care about you in the first place. She's filled with angry emotions and naturally, that's what happens when you anger a woman. I'm sure you've heard, there's no wrath like that of a scorned woman. Maybe over the years you two have just had it hard, she isn't into what you're into and vice versa. I.E...friends. That's important in any relationship. To at least be civil with each other's friends. And if she doesn't have any, doesn't mean she should make you miserable. So I feel you there. And maybe she was looking for a way out. But remember, you didn't tell her. Which means you lied. Which means you knew you were doing something wrong in the first place. Which means both of you were definitely not meant to be together. In a mutual relationship, each of you should be able to communicate effectively to each other, or at least communicate. Even if she didnt' want you to go, you're still your own person and you can make your own decisions. And vice versa. No one should hold down the other. That only builds resentment. And maybe you should've asked her. She may have liked to go. Keep in mind that you did screw up, and now she's gone. That's her choice. If you want her back, you'll prove to her that you do. But if that's the case, you both need to sit down and discuss what you both want, out of each other and in the relationship. And no more lying. You could've been seriously hurt, and surprisingly I don't recall you saying that any of your friends called her about it either. So she didn't know where you were, who you were with, or what you were doing. Not that you were being unfaithful, but you kept it from her. And that hurts more than anything. And if you were seriously hurt, she'd never know. And then she'd be hurt even more. Because she couldn't do anything about it. Think about it. And decide whether or not this relationship is for you or her. Look at this situation from her side. And you may be surprised what you see. Good luck!