I m worried about my health

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
I m worried about my health
2
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 3:20pm

Since we broke-up 2 weeks ago, I havent had more than 4 hours of sleep per night.(even with sleeping pills on a daily basis)

I lost my appetite and in the process lost 6 pounds and look like a ghost now. I have a stress reaction where I cant breath if I m stressed. I have it all the time now.
My problem is not him leaving because I was not happy with him... but I have made my professional plans around him in my life. meaning we were planning to travel abroad together for work now I dont want to travel on my own as I m tired of starting from scratch everytime, I have no job prospects in my city. I dont want to go to school again and spend my savings on another degree that will not be appreciated anyway...

I am not working currently (just a contract here and there) money is not a problem for the time being as I have decent savings but I need to find a solution to my empty days and sleepless nights. I keep making decisions reagarding work then backing off the next day and I made plans to take 3 certification exams so far and half way through the preparation and after I bought books I changed my mind and started other plans... I know I m lost but I dont know how to get out of this. My problem is work-related but somehow it all got triggered by this break-up...

Does anyone have any advice? would career counseling help? where can I get it?

I m 32 and have a masters degree in mgmt

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 5:02pm
Hi, you are so successful! A master's degree in management is an amazing thing to have with lots of different things you can use it for! I know exactly what you are going through. For three weeks, I barely ate and barely slept. I kept having anxiety attacks. I would wake up shaking and could barely breath. I lost 10 pounds and I let myself go. I mean... didn't shave my legs or wear make-up or even do my hair. I didn't do laundry or clean my apartment. I was amotivational at work. My studies for the MCAT(medical entrance exam) took a back burner. Then I snapped out of it. I looked at my messy apartment... the piles of laundry and my slobby self. I said enough was enough. I wanted to pursue my dream and give myself every opportunity to achieve it. I had worked so hard... I am pursuing my masters in chemistry. I am working myself to the bone to make up for my past mistakes. I don't want to give the medical schools the OPTION to refuse me. I slowly started gaining momentum. I would FORCE myself to do things that pertained to my research. And slowly, but surely I started getting excited about work again. The anxiety seized to exist. I had a goal in mind, and I wasn't going to let my break-up keep me from it. Through it all though, I let myself heal. I allowed myself to do nothing. I watched hours of TV. I went on hour walks. I talked about it all the time and probably burned holes in my friends' ears. I ran everyday and wrote in a journal. I even saw a counselor. I informed my boss of what was going on and she told me to get healthy then do research. A happy worker is a productive worker. I never let my exe know what I was going through. He never saw my pain. Now that you have some downtime, do the same. Allow yourself some time to heal. Get a blow-off job if you feel the need to work. Sitting around and reading trashy magazines at a tanning place is quite relaxing... Just ask my best friend and she has a degree in film and production. Then after you feel a little stronger, start looking at your life and setting up goals for yourself. It seems like you are in a rut. DO you like what you are doing? Start looking at what your degree can do for you. Who wouldn't love to manage a children's museum? When you have goals in mind, you have something to look forward to. During my break-up, I lost all the confidence that my exe had given me. I felt like I didn't have two legs to stand on. Then I looked at myself and said ARE YOU KIDDING? I have a bachelors and am getting a master's degree in a very prestigious field at an excellant university... The University is even paying for me to go there. I am in a research group that is publishing breakthrough work. My project is going to pave the way for new cancer drug design. I am young and beautiful. I am healthy and in shape. Other men used to hit on me in front of my boyfriend all the time. Why do I need my exe to help me realize what kind of person I am? I realized that I don't. I was confident and independent before him and I can be after him. So my advice to you is... heal up and then get out there. Write a list of things you would like to do and see how your degree can help you achieve that. A career counselor may help you realize some options you never had. Force yourself to do some of those things that you keep changing your mind about. It will open up even more opportunities for you. Look forward to those opportunities. Even though you might not like what you have to do now, you will be glad you did it later. Tell yourself that you are a strong, successful woman. There is no better way to get revenge on your exe. Showing them that you can live life without them and live it well is the ultimate slap in the face. Until then, happy healing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:08pm

I went through the loss of appetite also. I had never had that happen before with a guy until this one. I didn't eat for about 3 weeks and also lost a lot of weight. Eventually I did get my appetite back.

I also wasn't sleeping, was crying all of the time and was slacking off with school. I was really worried about myself until I snapped out of it.

I started hanging out with my friends and just did anything that I felt like doing.

It is hard at first but it does get better it just takes time even though you don't believe it now.

I am working on my master's degree so I understand what it takes to get an advanced degree.

If you think career counseling would help then go for it!

If you don't start feeling like eating etc then maybe you should seek out general counseling. I did it and it helped.