sense of power

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
sense of power
2
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 8:55am

I just wanted to let everyone know on the board that over the weekend the ex- attempted to contact me. He called me on Sat at 1:21 in the morning. I didn't answer. Since then, I've felt such a sense of empowerment. That I am taking control of myself again and he and his new gf have no hold on me and can't control my actions and words. My heart truly wanted to pick up and just hear his voice, but my brain said no. No because if he wanted to really talk to me, he would've called at a normal hour or tried again the next day. No because he would've broken my vow to do NC for myself so I can heal. No because his new gf is on vacation and he thinks he can try and have me too. No No No. I'm proud to say that I now recognize that he is toxic. A poison or drug that I need to stay away from.

A mutual friend told me she advised him to take time for himself, away from me and her and that he said he said he thinks about me every night. Again, I realize that he may just be worried about my emotional state and wants to know who I'm with (no one) and what I'm doing (not his business), but he decided that our relationship wasn't what he wanted, so I'm doing my best to move on.

I went out with the girls on Friday and Saturday and kept busy.

For everyone who thinks that you can't do NC, you can. I'm proof of that. I struggled for 3 weeks and kept relapsing, but you can do it. It will come and you will want to do it. You'll recognize that you are better of without him/her and that everyday still hurts, but each day it gets just a smidge better. Not necessarily a lot, but just a tiny bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
In reply to: ccheckers
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 9:14am
Good for you! NC is very hard and I know from personal experience. If my ex contacted me, it would give me that confidence back that I know I can take control of this situation, and move on. But as of now, theres no contact from either of us, and thats ok too. I know that if he called that "2 second high" I got from the phone call would eventually wear off, and I would be back where I started. And you're right, that "poison or drug" we should all stay away from. So Congratulations, you have a very good outlook on this and I am pushing myself to have that as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
In reply to: ccheckers
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 12:34pm
Same here ladies.
NC is always impossible for me...but this time i'm doing good actually. He left me 2 just over 2 months ago for the SECOND time...to go back to an ex that everyone knows is not good for him (but he doesn't feel he deserves any better). I realised that its been 2 weeks since I last emailed him (he was suppose to go with me to a concert, tickets I bought for us when we were still together and I wanted to check if he still wanted to go)...but you know what...? I DON'T WANT TO TAKE HIM ANYMORE! I don't WANT to talk to him anymore. He broke my heart and all I ever did was love him!
I'm SO wishing he would make contact with me so that I could just ignore it. Hmm...but he is not. I'm guessing he will though in the next week to tell me he can't go to the concert anymore (he broke up over the phone and hasn't had the guts to see me, so why will he now?) I just hate that i'm sortoff waiting for an email from him. Not every minute though, but its in the back of my mind...
I'm never strong enough to ignore an email or call...its just not in me to do it...even though they can...HOWEVER this time i'm ready. This time I will do it differently!!! Yeah!! Good luck to you all!