Just ended my relationship..need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Just ended my relationship..need support
1
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 2:27pm

Hi everyone, I have frequented these boards many times in the past...i love ivillage and the women here and the great support. I have been posting on the living together board mostly because i wasnt happy with things that were going on in my relationship but now I have gone to the extreme and had to leave him. I tried doing so about 2 months ago but he talked me into coming back (tears kill me) with promises of change and a future together and i definitely wish i had stood my ground then because it only got worse and i knew if that happened we would end up despising each other and not that i hate him i still am very much in love with the person that i started dating but realize he is no longer that person but yeh i am pretty sure he hates me.

Background-we dated for about 6 months and were head over heels for each other...i was sure he was the one (as i guess most ppl do with someone they fall in love with) so then we moved in together. We lived together for about 8 months (so been together for 14 months) and now i am back home with my parents and he is living in our apartment alone. I wont get into too much dtail about the things that went wrong but if you would like some details on a few things that bothered me then go to the previously mentioned board and read some of my threads and you will get somewhat of an idea of what i went through. I have been talking to so many ppl about this that i really am sick of talking about it.
Now i want to start moving on but its hard because we have to figure out all of the apt. stuff ( i left just on friday) and he isnt being very reasonable (we have 4 months left on our lease and i offered to find him a roommate but he refuses to live with a stranger) I talked to my landlord and found out that i can be taken off the lease with notice but he has to agree with the new roommate (which i doubt he will) so i've told him if you wont take a roommate i have no choice but to stay on the lease and put what i'm paying to use (i.e. drop by and use my room and the common areas) this was mainly just a threat bc i dont want to go there and i know he doesnt want me to since i basically just picked up and left without notice this time and took everything that was mine (which was basically everything) b/c i wanted a clean break and nothing drawn out where i could get talked back into it.
Anyways sorry its so long...just need a little support....i was so frustrated with him the other night after we spoke about the apt and what not and i had a little liquid courage and wrote him a pretty nasty email which i now feel bad for and texted to say sorry but otherwise we arent talking. Anyone had the same experience? I dont want him to hate me but i hope that with time he can get over this and maybe one day be friends. Bottom line...i was not happy and he damaged my self esteem and caused me to be insecure which drove me crazy as u can prob imagine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 3:26pm

Welcome to the board gracey0704,


You can only work on the things you can work on and go from there.