Break up without warning

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Break up without warning
5
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 9:33pm

Hi all, I am a guy, but very sentimental and with a lot of emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 3:08pm

From another perspective, if your spouse was trying to patch things up with you and still carrying on with another guy,then what would you think?

Yes! it was actually sort of an jerk of a thing to do, leaving you hanging without some definite decision. But I think her sudden disappearance says everything that needs to be said - she's patching things up with her husband and your presence complicates things.

Unfortunately that leaves you to deal with the aftermath of this less than cordial parting - a lousy reality. Stop calling the woman. Everytime she fails to respond to you, your dignity and self-worth takes another plunge. And look at it as a lesson for the future - separated means not yet available.

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 7:48pm

Welcome to the board coolsal,


I hope you take Susanna's good advice.....she had to abandon you, that was probably the condition of working on her marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 9:49am

I have been thinking very much about you words and I think they finally sunk on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 10:56am

I think if you truly care about her, and she decides to go back to her husband, you need to end contact with her. It doesn't matter what her reason is for staying married- if that is her choice, you need to respect her marriage and her daughter. Staying "friends" would be

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 3:39pm

I think the response was just fine. It's only human to be hurt after having to come to terms with that. I applaud your self-restraint in not contacting her. It's not easy, as everyone on this board can testify to. What she EXPECTS is unimportant.

"She always said that even if she went back to her husband (mainly because she has a daughter with him), we could be friends and soul mates."

That...is so much crap. It sounds so much like either she's stringing your along or you're stringing yourself along. Whichever one it is - stop hoping. You will NEVER move on if you're occupied with whether or not she'll come back. You can't be soulmates if she's working on her marriage with someone else. In fact, her abrupt dropping of contact should be a clear sign that if she goes back to her husband, she wants you to disappear. Maybe one day you'll be friends, who knows? But it's not going to be today, or tomorrow, or the next few months. So forget about being friends or getting back together for the next while.

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your