Letting go of the Future

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Letting go of the Future
3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 8:09am

The other day I was feeling so, so sad at the thought that my ex and I would now never have the family we had talked about, or life in the home I had imagined for us, or do the things I had imagined us doing. It hurt so bad! And then...

And then I realized that these things were all fantasies. Nothing that was hurting me at that moment was about our current, actual relationship; it was images from my imagination. And it struck me how painful something that wasn't even real, something entirely pretend, could be. Realizing that these things I was grieving so hard, while important (dreams and fantasies are motivating, after all), never existed, changed how I felt about them just enough to let them go. That was a good moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 2:22pm

Everything you feel is normal:


The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly one you can never have - Kierkegaard





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 4:12pm
Thanks for posting that quote. I was having a down moment and that is so true. This is all normal, but so painful. I referred to it as dying dreams, but my friend had a good point- my dreams for the future aren't dying. Its just that my dreams for the future won't happen with him. So its ok to have those dreams, but its just going to be with someone else who appreciates them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 4:37pm

Hi kbaby2006,


You are welcome. There are good days and bad days.