Firstly just BREATHE.. deep breaths...........I know what your going through, I know how it feels when you cant get his words to stop spinning in your head. Even though you know he's
It's ok for you to feel what you feel right now. It's exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. Feel it. Just don't act on the feelings by contacting him, because that will screw you over more in the long run.
I am also struggling to cope with negative thoughts (although mine are about how much I suck, but the function and result of acting on those thoughts is the same). Fighting those intense feelings with any force made me feel worse, so I decided to allow myself to feel the way I feel and work on positive stuff in between the waves.
When I am at the easiest part of my wave of feeling, I come back to wise, healing thoughts (I have them written down). They are things my highest self knows deep down is true and will help me heal. I spend some time thinking/repeating them in an effort to get my body in the habit of jumping to that which will help me heal fastest more than the other feelings. And then if another wave of emotion comes, maybe it is smaller. Maybe the healing thoughts diminish it completely. Or, more likely right now the feelings are still big and bad. In this case, I let myself feel them again. And then in the low point, I again go back to the thoughts and phrases that are about healing and moving on and releasing blame.
That's what helps me. Sometimes distraction helps, but not if the emotional waves are really big. Also, when the waves are really big, I turn to supports who will tell me the wise, healing things (not people who feed my self-blame or my blame of him), like coming here or calling some of my close friends (but not all...some just feed behaviors and thoughts that will have me hanging onto this longer). I also break time into manageable segments.
Tina Marie
Firstly just BREATHE.. deep breaths...........I know what your going through, I know how it feels when you cant get his words to stop spinning in your head. Even though you know he's
Tina Marie
It's ok for you to feel what you feel right now. It's exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. Feel it. Just don't act on the feelings by contacting him, because that will screw you over more in the long run.
I am also struggling to cope with negative thoughts (although mine are about how much I suck, but the function and result of acting on those thoughts is the same). Fighting those intense feelings with any force made me feel worse, so I decided to allow myself to feel the way I feel and work on positive stuff in between the waves.
When I am at the easiest part of my wave of feeling, I come back to wise, healing thoughts (I have them written down). They are things my highest self knows deep down is true and will help me heal. I spend some time thinking/repeating them in an effort to get my body in the habit of jumping to that which will help me heal fastest more than the other feelings. And then if another wave of emotion comes, maybe it is smaller. Maybe the healing thoughts diminish it completely. Or, more likely right now the feelings are still big and bad. In this case, I let myself feel them again. And then in the low point, I again go back to the thoughts and phrases that are about healing and moving on and releasing blame.
That's what helps me. Sometimes distraction helps, but not if the emotional waves are really big. Also, when the waves are really big, I turn to supports who will tell me the wise, healing things (not people who feed my self-blame or my blame of him), like coming here or calling some of my close friends (but not all...some just feed behaviors and thoughts that will have me hanging onto this longer). I also break time into manageable segments.
I hope this helps.
This sure does...suck.
Tina Marie
What's done is done--all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
Tina Marie
Journal writing is a good way to vent all the hate you feel.
Good for you--deleting him from your phone is a good step to take.
Tina Marie