What's his problem???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
What's his problem???
3
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 11:10pm

So this guy asks me out and we hit it off right away. We were crazy about each other - at least I thought so. The first week was kinda odd and this is where I need some help. I saw him in traffic one day right next to me, we both said hi, exchanged a few words and the light turned green.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 11:31pm

It's been 3 days. Relax. Let him come to you.

Anyways, if you're reading the Redbooks magazine (which was pretty good on break up advice a few months back, btw), they quote this really insightful but simple anecdote about attracting people to you in general.

They said that when you're training a puppy, if you smother it with love and bother it constantly, it'll run away and hide. But if you busy yourself with something fun, it'll run around you trying to see what it is that's got your attention. In the same way, people are like that - if you're happy by yourself, you'll attract people to you (including your MIA boyfriend), who all want to see what all the fun's about

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 1:36pm

Welcome to the board beena273,


Let him come to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 9:54am

I'm going to say wait and do your own thing also, however, I'd be pissed off about being stood up. That's hurtful and humiliating and he shouldn't get off easy on that, but when he comes back around on his own you need to listen to his reason and his explanation. The "weirdness" at the beginning is nothing to hold onto, it seems you're also making more of his behavior at the time. He's just uncertain of himself in new relationships.

I'm actually wondering about your level of self-esteem if you automatically think someone is wanting to break up with you simply because they haven't called you in a couple of days. Instead, let yourself get angry at the fact that he stood you up, and if you feel like it, let him make it up to you. Don't you DARE be the one to call him when he's the one who messed up there, you will lower your value that way.

For what it's worth, no one can keep up the kind of pace you had going at first forever. That's exhausting. I think at two months you maybe have a little too much invested and focused on him. Get back to focusing on your own life as an individual, otherwise, you run the risk of becoming too much, too soon.

Good luck,

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