Winning the Battle/Losing the War

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Winning the Battle/Losing the War
5
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 6:41pm

My BF and I have been together for 2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 6:55pm
My ex broke up with me many times, usually over an argument. When we finally broke up for good a month ago, he said he wasn't into me anymore and that i was tying him down. I just thought we'd get back together, but he assured me that it was really over and he didn't see me in his future. He's moving soon which is even harder for me, but I just don't want you to feel like you're alone in this. After we broke up, I made desperate attempts to get him back. I called/texted him numerous times, messaged him and kept asking questions and telling him we could work it out. He just seemed disinterested and even annoyed that I kept talking to him. After reading everybody's posts on this messageboard, I realized that I never gave him time to think about things. I was always quick to make him get back together with me. Although I am not really talking to him anymore, I am sure that we will never come back to me. Every situation is unique, so maybe your ex just needs some time, but at least while you're waiting you can try and move on, and if he decides he wants you back, then you can work it out at the time, but please remember how he keeps breaking up with you. He may take you back and then throw it all away again. Do you want to keep doing this to yourself? The sad thing is, I'd take my bf back any day. We just need to let them go and let them do their own thing, and if they decide not to come back, we just have to try and accept it and realize that it's just not going to work out this time. I still have this small hope that one day he'll come crawling back, but it's just a dream. I love him so much, it kills me, but we have to think about ourselves and what we could be doing without him. Show him that you dont need him and that you're strong, then he'll realize that what he lost and maybe he'll think twice about what he did. He may not act on it, but at least he'll have time to miss you. I never gave my ex time to miss me. I'm sure my ex misses me, but it's not enough where he'd give me another chance. We have to be strong for ourselves, we're the only ones with the power to let go and move on, nobody can do it for us. I hope you will give him space and let him miss you, until then, show him that you can manage without him. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:28pm
Thank you so much!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 12:32am

Hi worriedwoman2005,


Did you make it through the weekend? It's not easy to stop ourselves from making contact when we really, really want to.


Something to read:


Zen of Doing Nothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 5:11am

No, I did not contact him this weekend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 7:10am
On a positive note, he hasn't asked me to come pick up my stuff.