1 week

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
1 week
4
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:11pm

Hi,

Its been about a week since the "break up". I use quotations because I dont know if it really is one. We had a long talk the last time we saw and spoke to each other about the way things were going in the relationship. I was undecided if I wanted to continue and he said that we should take a break. I asked if this was permanent or temporary and he said he didnt know. That's how things ended.

I've taken it as a breakup so this week has been quite emotional. First day, I've never cried so much about something before...so upset and angry. Second day, I was starting to accept it. Third day, I was feeling a lot better - back to my normal self and life (somewhat). Since then, that's how I've felt (although I still have trouble sleeping because its on my mind so much). Until today, when i had a mini break down. There's been no contact at all but I really want to make some contact. I know its a bad thing, but I feel like things are still unresolved. Is this a break or a break up? And, I still want to get things off my chest about things that I didn't get a chance to say such as comments to some of his excuses, how it will be his loss and not mine,etc.

I dont think he even wants to speak to me because if he did, he would have called. But, I feel like I need to talk to him one last time in order for me to get some closure so I can move on and I dont want to have to wait for him to call in order for me to do it. I was thinking of maybe making contact in the next few days to a week...maybe more? I'm unsure. Should I even bother. Any advice or suggestions?

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: cosmostar5
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:19pm
One thing I learned was a big mistake was to smother him after he said he needed space. You HAVE to do this, no matter how much u want to talk to him, it will only make you happy for a second and then you'll realize again that you're not together. Give him all the time he needs. If you haven't read Zen of Nothing, then read it, it will help you fight the urge to not call or text him. I begged my ex back so many times trying to remind him of all the good, but he pushed me further away and even got annoyed. Just let him be, if he wants you, he'll know where to find you. I hope this helps, I wish I had done this earlier, but now I don't talk to him unless he goes out of his way to talk to me,even then I keep things short. Just be patient, this is what he needs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
In reply to: cosmostar5
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:29pm

Thanks again :) I've read Zen of Nothing and even pulled out a few comments from that post and others that really struck a chord. I emailed it to myself, but maybe I should print it out. Its a struggle to be so patient and I'm trying to do things that take my mind off him and the situation. I guess in the end, time will tell and I can become stronger. He does know how to contact me and I just have to keep thinking that the ball is in his court and the best thing I'm doing is giving him space because thats what he's asked for.

Im glad this msg board is here. Really helps to know that others are in the same boat or have been there before :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
In reply to: cosmostar5
Sun, 09-30-2007 - 10:38am
You are doing the right thing, do not make contact in any way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: cosmostar5
Sun, 09-30-2007 - 2:15pm

Welcome to the board cosmostar5,


Whether it's a break or a break-up read this:


When he asks for space (aka, "a break")