It's not over, is it??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
It's not over, is it??
7
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 12:57am

Hi there, I'm new to the iVillage community, and desperately need advice.


Me and my guy were together 3 years, mostly long distance. No fights until a month ago, when he snagged a job that was nowhere close to me, meaning the distance would remain an issue unless I moved. Feeling that it would put more strain on us, and
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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 11:17am

Are you able to behave like you're just friends without it being painful to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 1:21pm

Welcome to the board showtime07,


It's not easy to be friends with someone right after a break-up and especially when you still have romantic feelings for that person and wish things were different.


Focus on you and your healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 5:01pm

Thanks for your responses.


The way I see it, I'd rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all (cliche,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 5:23pm

Everyone has to do what they feel is best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 9:48pm
Slight update -- he texted me to tell me he's successfully made the move to
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 10:02pm

Hi,


The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly one you can never have - Kierkegaard


It's not good to go down the path of comparing your life with his.... look at it this way, if you jump up and make a major move to a new city, new job, how long before you feel lonely and the grief catches up with you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 12:24am

In the area of being friends, we're aware that it's a two way street right?

You being his friend is fine, but he needs to be yours too. Meaning he has to respect the fact that this break up hurt you, and that you need time off. And YES, you do need time off. Cold Turkey. Nobody ever quit smoking by reducing the amount they smoke. Nope. They throw out their cigarettes, slap on the nicotine patches (read: other time filling activities), and start their cold turkey. Same advice here.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your