His birthday is coming up...
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His birthday is coming up...
| Tue, 10-02-2007 - 3:04am |
His birthday is on the 10th of this month, and I don't know if I should call just to say Happy Birthday. I can see how it would set me back, but I'd also like to be nice and say it. I don't know if it will really mean anything for him, and I am positive it won't make him come back to me. What should I do? My birthday will be in November, and I wonder if he will call me on my birthday as well..that I won't know until then of course, but in the mean time, what do you guys think? Should I be friendly and say Happy Birthday even though it will hurt to speak with him and letting him know I was thinking of him?

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If you think it will help your situation, and maybe help you feel a bit better, then send him a e-card or email wishing him a Happy Birthday. It's not the worse thing in the world. If he doesn't respond, you move on. If he does respond, you'll deal with it when the time comes.
The guy I am pining away for, his birthday is this month. Actually his birthday is exactly one week after my dad's birthday. I am seriously thinking of sending him a simple card to wish him a Happy Birthday.
The last time he talked to me, we had a fight and he told me he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. But then he said it wasn't forever, give him some time and space and we'll revisit the issue a few months down the road. He also said he wouldn't mind me dropping a email to him letting him know how I was doing.
I am still very sad about him and think about him often and cry about him at the drop of a hat.
I miss him terribly.
My ex also has a birthday coming up. I am definately not contacting him. Not because I don't love him, but because I don't want any setbacks (it has only been 2 weeks since he left the relationship). For me (and even for the ephemeral "us"), progress toward sanity and stability is #1, and I think maintaining NC absolutely is the way to go for that.
I have to admit, when I read all the posts here agonizing over missed birthday calls, I had to think about this a long time...but in our case, because of my values and beliefs and experiences, I am pretty sure this is right, and that he would agree with me on this.
I am due to send him his stuff soon, and I may include a letter in that (haven't decided yet) with a happy birthday. But I have some time to make that decision.
If you want to continue to make progress in your healing then you need to keep up no contact even on his birthday.
If you're willing to start the time period for healing over, then contact him--but accept responsibility for the consequences.
If the two of you are meant to be friends once you're over him, you can wish him happy birthday NEXT year.
Sheri
Just real quick, to answer your original question:
For his birthday, I got one of those things where you buy a land on the moon, and I named it after us. At the time I thought it was cute, and I had even told him that I'd still give it to him when we first broke up. I don't want to keep it, and I'd like to give it to him so I was thinking about sending it to him snail mail with a note that says Happy Birthday. I know that he broke up with me, but you don't think it's a good idea to even just say Happy Birthday? I wouldn't dare say I miss him and think about him or anything, I would just say something like "Today is your birthday, so I thought I'd wish you a happy birthday." But I wouldn't call him, maybe just send him an e-mail. I don't know, this is so hard. I don't even expect him to write back, and even if he did, he would just say thanks. So there's no expectations here.
As for that question, if I had one last chance, what would I do? I would try and talk with him about how we can talk things through more, we tried talking about it once, but that's when we broke up a few weeks later. After this agonizing breakup, I've had time to reflect on our relationship and I see that there's so much potential. I would try to support him more in his music and try to argue less about the little things we argued about. And I know I would really try because I wouldn't want to lose him again. To me, I thought we were still growing and just needed to work things out more, but to him, he said we weren't progressing and that we gave it too many chances. I've told him everything I could about us, but it doesn't matter now, it wasn't even just about that, it was about how he was still young and wanted to focus on his music, and I was tying him down.
My brand new ex's birthday is tomorrow. No way in hell I'll call. :) I loved him dearly, but when it's over, it's O-V-E-R. It's not mean and cruel, it's healthy. It means you have loads of self-esteem that says you deserve much better than you got. Stay strong!!
BTW, my b-day is in two weeks. I don't expect anything, but I started to plan my own party because I refuse to sit and feel sorry for myself. If I have the rest of my life in front of me, then I want the rest of my life to begin now!!
Take care!
hang in there!!! I know it's tough. I had to cancel my flight today where I was going to the city where he lives to celebrate my b-day and look for apartments together. I hit cancel then went into my co-worker's room, shut the door, and cried. About 5 minutes later I emerged laughing. He gave me the best birthday present a girl could ask for (uh, in his own way of course) which is the freedom I need to find the right person for me.
Have some back up plans. If you wanted to send him a card for his b-day, buy the card and write down everything you want, then give it to a close friend. Every time you want to check his myspace page it's one step closer to going towards the life you don't want as opposed to the life you do want. It's SO hard to accept that it's over but I'm telling you the sooner you do, the sooner you will move on.
I've been through
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