please advise!!!! :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
please advise!!!! :o(
9
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 8:22am
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 10:18am

In order to get rid of your depression - get rid of HIM.

He is the reason you are unhappy, losing weight, not being able to sleep. You still talk to him while you're trying to mourn the loss of your relationship. There is no way you can fully heal if you keep contact. As soon as you take your power back and tell him he cannot call you again, you will start to see the depression eventually go away.
Contacting him just gets you back in the cycle of your sadness.

I hope you realize that this guy is a jerk. He's stringing you along, coming to you for sex, and does not care for your feelings one bit. Drop him QUICK like a bad habit. And you will eventually move on. You don't deserve a jerk like that.

Good luck to you! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 11:27am

to be honest i am not the one that calls him at all or even look for him... he is the one that does all that... yes i did try to stop talking to him and i was doing good... it lasted a month and i thought everything was good that i can actually handle talking to him here and there but he is the one that contacts me almost everyday....


i know i don't deserve this... and trust me i am trying my hardest to get rid of this... and i will keep on trying...


he is like i don't want to loose your friendship... so i know thats all he wants from me... (but not the friends with beneftis)...


thank you for you input i appreciate it... trust me im taking everything to heart bc i don't want to feel like this anymore...


and yes i strongly agree that he doesn't care about my feelings at all... especially that he spoke to me about his realtionship now... OMG...lol...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 11:50am

Hey -

:)

I get what you're saying. You just need to be adamant to him that you cannot possibly be his friend right now and that he cannot contact you at all.

It sucks to 1) know that your ex is dating someone else and 2) be his shoulder to lean on while he's going through his gf issues.

You know you can't be his friend. Being a friend to him doesnt mean having the same relationship minus the emotional commitment - which is what I think he wants - everything you and he had without the ties. Being a friend is when you guys are platonic and you can be there for him and be happy for him, and same for him, he needs to be there for you and want the best for you. I don't think either of that is happening here.

Do you still have feelings for him? You'll learn on this message board that everyone's had problems trying to be friends with the person they still have feelings for. I don't think it's possible.

I'm glad you're on the right track. :) Start living for yourself. Do things you enjoy and keep yourself occupied. He's not your bf anymore and you should be glad for that, cause he seems like a total flake. You had a life before him and were happy and you'll continue to have a happy life after him.

I wish the best for you! Hugs!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 12:15pm

Welcome to the board sweetivy07,


He's still contacting you to see if you will be intimate with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 2:18pm

thank you... i really apprecite everything...


and yes i know right?!?!? what ever issues he is having i really don't care he might be telling me that so i can be like oh ok... or he is lying that he is having issues too...


it sucks when i found out that he started dating a month after i told him to leave me alone until im ready to contact him...


whatever the case might be i'm jsut tyring my best and i know i will be ok in the end... (so i hope)


thank you and thanks for the hugs!!!! :0)


i'll keep you posted...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 2:28pm

thank you very much i will try and better self-esteem... :0)


because what happened with my ex and the girl he is with now, thats when i started to doubt myself... once again thank you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 5:19pm

When breakups happen our self-esteem takes a hit, however, you really don't have anything to doubt yourself over, especially in comparison to this girl.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 8:32am

thank you very much for the advice and thats what i am trying to do...


i really appreciate your advice and i will be telling him that... the good thing is that i haven't heard from him so haven't been able to tell him anything... and i don't want to call or text him. because i know that every night he is at her place... the reason why he makes me feel that im

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 9:15am

First of all, you should be very proud of yourself for resisting his attempts to get together - for whatever reason.