They were not gifts from her--books, DVDs, CDs on loan for however long I wanted them to keep them. She gave them over the course of our relationship (with the BF).
The package she sent after the break was some music, a movie and a book--also on loan, not an Xmas gift, just a thoughtful gesture she thought I might enjoy. So, they are hers and she expects them to be returned. There are some paperbacks she gave me to keep and will hold on to those.
EX and I talked about this and I said I'd leave the books for him to pick up.
I've struggled with sending her the note directly to her--it feels uncomfortable because I don't want to make contact without him knowing. I feel like like I am going behind his back. I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I do.
YOu still think I should mail it directly? Do you think she even knows about the split?! Arggghh. So confused.
I agree that you should send the letter directly to his mother. Out of respect for the relationship you developed with her. I think if you send the letter through your ex, it won't get to her. She didn't do anything wrong and there is no reason why you can't let her know you were grateful for her kindness. Its the right thing to do. Take the ex out of the equation he has nothing to do with it.
As for returning the items to her, why the rush? Really, if she lent the book, movie, etc. to you I think you should at least read and watch what she gave you. I don't think she lent you stuff with the string attached saying that you must send everything back immediately if you & son break up.
Does she know if you're still together or not? Hard to say. But, it doesn't matter. If she wants to send you things and keep a relationship with you there isn't anything wrong with that.
Whoa, why are you sending stuff that his mother gave you back to her?
Hi Sandra,
They were not gifts from her--books, DVDs, CDs on loan for however long I wanted them to keep them. She gave them over the course of our relationship (with the BF).
The package she sent after the break was some music, a movie and a book--also on loan, not an Xmas gift, just a thoughtful gesture she thought I might enjoy. So, they are hers and she expects them to be returned. There are some paperbacks she gave me to keep and will hold on to those.
EX and I talked about this and I said I'd leave the books for him to pick up.
I've struggled with sending her the note directly to her--it feels uncomfortable because I don't want to make contact without him knowing. I feel like like I am going behind his back. I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I do.
YOu still think I should mail it directly? Do you think she even knows about the split?! Arggghh. So confused.
I agree with Sandra.
I would send them directly to her...don't involve him.
I agree that you should send the letter directly to his mother. Out of respect for the relationship you developed with her. I think if you send the letter through your ex, it won't get to her. She didn't do anything wrong and there is no reason why you can't let her know you were grateful for her kindness. Its the right thing to do. Take the ex out of the equation he has nothing to do with it.
As for returning the items to her, why the rush? Really, if she lent the book, movie, etc. to you I think you should at least read and watch what she gave you. I don't think she lent you stuff with the string attached saying that you must send everything back immediately if you & son break up.
Does she know if you're still together or not? Hard to say. But, it doesn't matter. If she wants to send you things and keep a relationship with you there isn't anything wrong with that.